But We Fell Too Fast

part one: the fall

The car ride to Demi and Wilmers' was more mellow, in an extremely good way. The clouds blanketed the sunset so that a fusion of grey and pick was just visible in the dimming light. The hum of the car blended into the low rhythm of Come On Eileen surging from the speakers surrounding the car, and it all came together with the cadence of our breath, creating the song of our summer night. My one hand rested on the top of the steering wheel, the leather still  warm from the day, and my other was making its way toward Demi's pale fingers. She looked down at my hand and laughed, my face burned with blush, she's making fun of me! She thinks I'm dumb. But to my surprise she just grabbed my hand and pushed it against her lips. 

"Nick, I'm going to be okay, really! He'll be fine tonight, I know it," she obviously misread the situation. There it is again.... friendzone. I just laughed it off and turned to look at Demi, our fingers still intertwined together. 

"I know Dems, I just worry about you is all. You know that-"

"And that, Nick," she cut me off, "is why we are best friends and I love you. I promise, you'll know if something is wrong, okay?"

I nodded and didn't speak much the rest of the ride, I just wished I would tell her I loved her, take my own fricken advice. But I didn't, and so as I pulled into the driveway of Demi's home, she still wasn't mine. She was his. 

"I had an awesome time today, Nick. I'm so lucky to have a buddy like you." Buddy... that's tough. I couldn't help but return that goofy smile though, I needed to accept that I was the buddy, and that was okay. I leaned over to hug her goodbye and I squeezed her as tight as I could just for good measure. She jumped out of the car and shut the door. I watched as she walked up to her door and made it into the house, and then I drove away. I wish I had stayed longer.

I was almost home when my phone started ringing, I looked down at the brightly illuminated screen to see that it was Demi. Maybe things had already gone wrong with Wilmer. But when I answered the phone, there was a man on the other line, his voice was deep and official.

"Good evening sir, who, may I ask, is speaking?"

"Umm hey, this is Nick... Jonas. Who is this?" I listened for his response. Outside the storm was in a full rage, the rain pounding on my car, the lightning breaking the sky into a hundred pieces with it's white streaks, and the thunder's booms vibrating the whole world.

"Sir, this is Deputy Michael Steen from the Dallas Police, I'm calling because your friend, has gotten in a car accident. You were the last person she called..." I barely heard the last words, I was already speeding back down the highway she was on. Everything else went away, my surroundings were a blur. It was only Demi. I needed to get to my Demi. I pulled up to the scene and was horrified at what I was seeing. The red and blue flashing lights reflected off the rain that was slowing down now, but still powerful, and people surrounded what looked like a crumpled up mess of black and silver metal lit with small fires. A small Mercedes sign stood out amongst the debris.

It was then that I broke down. I fell down to my knees and my eyes filled with tears, making everything even more blurry and confusing. I felt hands on my back and looked up to see the dark and rough face of Wilmer, probably the last person I wanted to see. But his eyes were filled with tears too, and I knew that he really did love her. Just not like I did. Never like I did. I looked up at the car again, sobbing loudly, I didn't care who saw me like this. And then I saw her. They had her on a stretcher and she looked so broken. Blood was matted in her hair and her eyes were closed. I got up and stumbled toward her, stopping the man that was taking her away from me. As I looked at her closer, I saw that the color in her face was already drained, she had large bruises everywhere and her right side seemed to be crushed almost entirely. 

I sobbed harder.

My hands found their way to hers and I held them both up. They were still warm, but obviously lifeless. I kissed both of her wrists, the tattoos she had there, both the ink and the scars, explained who she was and I couldn't let her go. I kissed each hand separately, begging for her to come back. Someone was screaming loudly, a wailing almost, like a mother calling her child back when he strayed too far from home.

The man pulled me off of her, and they lifted her into the ambulance. She was leaving. They were taking her from me. I cried harder. The sirens started and then faded into the distance as she was driven away. I fell down again. My heart was empty, I was lost. 

Only then did I realized the screaming was me.

In my dream she is falling, she's falling from blackness and into a bright light, but the light isn't warm. The light is hard and cold and much too bright. I am reaching for her. I try calling her name. I can't reach her. She looks at me. Her brown eyes are warm but getting colder, and she's reaching to me and I'm trying  to grab her hands, I'm trying to save her. But Demi is falling too fast, and I know I'm losing her. The world goes black.