Never In My Wildest Dreams (Slow Uploads)

Chapter 1 Permanent Move

Copyright 2012 All Right Reserved

CHAPTER 1 -

"We're almost there," my mom said, trying to sound excited. She glanced at me from the driver seat, but I didn't respond. I didn't have anything to say.

I’m so confused – there weren’t any other words to describe it. Why didn’t she tell me the truth  sooner?

About a week ago, my mom sat me down and told me that she wasn't my birth mother. Can you imagine the shock I was in? She said that when I was very young, she was asked if she wanted to adopt me, and obviously she agreed because here we are. She didn't know anything about who my biological parents were, why they gave me up, or anything else I could possibly think to ask. But that’s not the weird part.

After my mom told me she wasn't my birth mother, she said that I needed to start packing because on Friday she was driving me to Mel and Scott's house, they were really close friends of hers. They were kind of like an aunt and uncle I never had, considering we didn't have family. My mom didn't have brothers or sisters, and her parents died when she was young.  She told me I was moving in with them permanently and that made me even more confused.

"They're going to provide you with stability and help you understand things that I can't," she told me. I had no idea what that was about, but I didn't argue.

You see, it has always been Mom and me, always. That's how I knew there had to be a pretty good reason why she was doing this. Regardless if she was my birth mother or not, she wouldn't dump me off onto someone else unless there was a good reason. I didn't even have to ask her, I just knew. 

So I did what she told me to do. I went straight to my room and started packing for my permanent move. I was never one to cry over things, and I didn't want to start now.

I hadn't really paid much attention to the dull car ride until we passed through the town center. I loved this town. For it being small, everything you could possibly ever need you could find here. Every time we visited I always felt at home, a feeling I never really felt anywhere else.

It was way different than any of the other places we had ever lived. My mom always liked being close to big cities and moving around a lot. I guess that's why our house was five minutes from one of the biggest cities in the south.

As we turned onto the back road that led to Mel and Scott's house, the excitement was unbearable. Sure, my life was flipping upside down, but these people weren't just my mom's friends. They were the only other people besides my mom that had always been in my life. Always.

 I’m practically being abandoned and I’m excited about seeing them. What’s wrong with me?

Regardless of the reason for coming here, I was so excited to see them. It had been just under a year since our last visit. I tried to not think about the whole "permanent move" thing. Instead, I thought of this as just another trip out to see them. 

I closed my eyes, relaxed, and let the deep pine wood smell overcome me, the cool pink and orange sunset breeze take over me, and the smooth, swishing sound of the river nearby invite me back.

"It’s nice to be back, huh,"

mom asked. I looked in her direction to see her trying to crack a smile. Her knuckles were white from how tight she was holding the steering wheel. I sighed and looked back out the window.

"It’s definitely going to take some getting used to," I said, fidgeting with my hands. "I always kind of thought that one day me and you would move here." I paused, smirking slightly. I noticed Mom tense up a bit, but I brushed it off. Before she could get a word in, I continued, "I trust you, though, and if this is what you want, then so be it. I don't understand how or why they can help, but I can't think about it for too long or it drives me crazy."

"This is not about me. This is... It ... This is not about what I believe, it's about what I know," she stuttered, trying to get her words out. I looked at her and studied her face, trying to understand what she meant. She must have noticed because she continued explaining.

"Baby, I can't give you the answers to all the questions you must have. You're special; you always have been. And I know Mel and Scott love you just as much as I do. Everything is going to be fine," she said sternly.

I didn't have anything to say to that. I wanted to tell her I didn't understand, but I knew my mom wasn't lying that she wouldn't be able to explain things to me. I didn't have any idea how I knew, but I did. I knew all of this was killing her no matter how hard she covered it up. Repeatedly questioning her decision wasn't going to make it any better.

"Lilli," she paused, and I could tell she was thinking hard before she continued. "I know how confused you must be. I also know that you are the strongest, most resilient, and independent person I know." I looked over to see amusement in her eyes and couldn’t help but smile. She had raised me really well. I couldn't have asked for a better mom.

"What about you?"

"I promise we'll stay in touch." Mom glanced at me. "Honestly, though, once you're settled in and comfortable, you'll probably forget all about me."

"That will never happen!" I half screamed on accident. That was just plain nonsense! I could never forget about her; she would always be my mother.

I couldn't help but think of how frustrated I was. Since my mom’s confession, all I wanted was to understand was why my biological parents gave me away. Not that I didn't love my mom because, believe me, birth mom or not, she would always be my mother. I just needed to know. It was killing me not knowing if I had any brothers or sisters, real aunts and uncles, cousins, maybe grandparents. Why did they not want me? It made me angry.

All my confusion and frustration started to fade away as Mel and Scott’s house came into view. They lived pretty deep in the woods. There were other houses out there, but they weren't close together.

The house was a huge, log cabin style home with big bay windows on each side of the front door. They had more than a couple acres of land, and for a good acre behind the house, all the trees had been cleared away. When I was little, I would go all the way to the end of their land into the deeper part of the woods. I hadn't been in those woods in forever.

Before we even came to a complete stop, I saw the front door swing open.

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to ChasingDreams18 becasue she has helped me so much and is the BEST!