Married To Mahone (Book #2)

Chapter Three

I took a deep breath.

"Austin...you've been gone a lot lately...and I've been taking  care of the kids alone most of the time. It's hard to do that. Paparazzi follows me around everywhere...and...well..." I trailed off.

It was painful for me to tell him this.

"And what, baby?" He asked.

"They...may say things to me." I said.

"What kind of things, Mary?" He asked.

"Well...they--they've called me fat and ugly. Gross, saying that we shouldn't be together...how much of a screw up I am...and I dunno how they found out but--they've called me a cutter before." I sighed.

"So, you're starving yourself because of paparazzi?!" He asked.

"Well I-"

"-Mary! They're trying to get to you! None of that is true." He shouted at me.

I fiddled with the bracelets on my wrists.

"Mary, so help me god, if you're cutting again too--I don't know what I'm going to do." He looked at me seriously.

Fuck.

"Baby, please don't tell me that...please." He sat down next to me.

"I--uh..." I couldn't find words to say.

He grabbed my wrists. He ripped the bracelets off. His jaw clenched and he looked up at me. His eyes were glossy.

"You promised me. Baby, how can you do this to yourself?" His voice cracked.

It's not like it's that bad...I mean I've only done it a couple times. I don't see any other way to let out my frustration and hurt...

"I--I...I don't understand how bad it is." I confessed.

"Are you fucking kidding me! You're self-harming, Mary! It's a big fucking deal! Especially since--that thing happened in the past." His voice lowered at the end.

"I-I can't help it. It's makes me feel better." I sighed.

"Mary, I--I...Answer this...do you have an eating disorder right now?" He asked.

"Well...I guess so." I looked down.

"God-fucking-damn it! I can never catch a break!" He shouted louder than he's ever shouted before.

I bit my lip. He was scarring me. Not to mention Melody and Carter.

"Stop yelling Austin." I said.

"How can I? I have one problem after a motherfucking-nother! My life is shit." He screamed.

Carter and Melody ran over to me and buried their heads into my sides.

"Austin, calm down. You're scarring them!" I shouted back.

He looked at our two frightened children and instantly regretted yelling.

"I'm checking you into rehab." He simply stated.

"No you're not. I have kids to raise." I said.

"Tough luck, they have me. You need to get help." He said harshly.

Like...like...I wanted to have these problems.

"Why are you so mad at me?" I asked.

"Because Mary, you can't be a normal girl ever. You always have a fucking problem for me to take care of." He snapped at me.

"Fuck you." I shoved the urge to cry back.

I ran upstairs and into the bathroom. I sobbed.

"It's all my fault...everything's always my fault." I whispered to myself.

"Baby, come out of there." Austin said.

There was no way I was letting him in, and I was not going out. This will not be like yesterday night... Fuck that lovey-dovey shit. I can't handle this anymore. The fighting is all too much for me.

"Mary Mahone, get your ass out of the bathroom." He demanded.

I stayed put. All I wanted was to be happy. Was that to much to ask? I wanted to be happy with Austin and our kids. Have a nice life, and no more worries. But instead, I'm a screw up. Just like my mother.

I-I'm just like my mother.

"Baby, please. I don't want to fight anymore. But, we need to talk about this." He sighed.

I opened the door and sure enough...he was right there.

"Just leave me alone." I sighed.

"No, baby. You--I can't. You need help." He said.

"Austin, I refuse to get any more help from those people. I will fix this on my own." I snapped at him.

"Mary, you can't. It's not something you can do yourself." He said.

"Yes I can." I said.

"Mary-"

"-Don't argue with me about this. I promise I'll stop fucking up." I said.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I'm one big fuck up...look at me. I was a teen mom, I was hospitalized for...well you know. I'm depressed...I started to cut again and I have an eating disorder. I'm a fuck up Austin. I don't know why we're even together. You clearly don't want to deal with me." I said.

"Mary, don't you ever say that again. We are meant to be. You'll get through this. I'm right here with you. You aren't a fuck up, baby. You hitting bumps in the road ahead." He said.

"Just--I'll try to...eat and stop cutting. I'll...I'll try. If I crack, you can take me to a rehab. But, I think I'm strong enough to win this battle myself." I said.

"Deal. But, one slip-up and you're getting checked in." He warned.

"I know." I said.

Look at  me. I'm one big mess. A huge one at that. I can't believe he could love someone like me. He probably doesn't. I'm unloved.

Once again, I'm sitting here, broken and bruised. With scars to show.

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A/N: So, I know this chapter sucked but...whatever. Comment, vote, all that fun stuff. I love you lovelies <3