Hacking The Heart [Immortal Hearts #1] (#Wattys2016)

[24] - <where>are</you?>

Mom, I'm leaving. I guess that's the only way I can say this without beating around the bush.

I'm leaving and I don't know if I'll be coming back. Really, is this the right thing to do? I have no clue, but I can't deal with you anymore, at least not right now. Maybe I just have some growing up to do, or maybe we were just broken from the beginning. I just don't know, and that's something I need to figure out myself.

Hank told me about it. Go ahead and get married. Maybe, since he's an adult, he might be able to help you better than I can. Again, I don't know. You tell me, is he worth marrying? Are you willing to drop everything to make you, yourself, his life? What about you, do love him enough to make him your life?

I mean, obviously I wasn't enough for you to fully give up on Heroin. Maybe I'm the reason for you taking that drug, or maybe I'm not. Is there something I'm missing, am I, alone, not enough to stop your craving for that disease that you inject into yourself? Did you stop loving me? Did you not love me at all to begin with? Hank was right; I don't know anything about anything, especially when it comes to you.

That's one of the reasons for why I'm leaving, Mom. I hate you so much, but I love you, and I always will. However, I can't stand watching you hurt yourself any longer. I don't know myself at all, and by leaving like this, I hope I can find myself and answer the questions I have. Maybe one day, I can come home and see you and Hank again with all of my own questions answered.

I guess, until then, this is 'goodbye'. Please don't look for me, and please don't call the police. If you have any love for me left inside of you, then please do as I say. I'm sorry for putting this on you so suddenly, but I hope you and Hank can still be happy. Maybe you should have another kid and start anew. Give yourself a third chance. Hell, maybe the third time is the charm.

Anyway, I love you, Mom. Be safe and be happy.

Landon.

***

Silence contaminated the entirety of Landon's room as the paper slowly made its way to the floor. Soft and light, it fell like a feather. Lana couldn't believe it, her son had left on his own and hadn't even given her chance to say goodbye. Did she love him? Landon had always been her world. Have another kid with Hank? She couldn't do it without Landon there to help. Then, why did she inject herself with Heroin? Everything she said to herself was only an excuse. There had never been a good reason to redo it all over again.

Lana knew how right Landon had been. She had failed him over and over again, without fail, throughout his life. She, herself, was a failure. She was never able to do anything right, from working to love. She couldn't love nor could she even raise her own son correctly. She was a terrible mother and that was how Landon saw her, or so she thought - and that's what made it hurt so much more.

Falling to her knees, with tears roaming around the contours of her cheekbones, Lana eyed Landon's empty bed with an indescribable pain in her chest. This was all her fault, every last bit of it.

That was the moment Lana truly opened her eyes. That was the moment she decided to drop everything from her old life. Every single bit was going disappear, everything but Landon. So that the day he decides to come home, he could have a smile on his face. So that she could return that very smile to him as soon as he came through the door.

Heroin, narcotics, every man and woman she knew, her clothes, and even her phone; she was going to toss everything into a junkyard far, far away and leave her old life in the past, where it really belonged. This time, it was for Landon. For her son and his happiness, for herself and her happiness, and for their future. This time it was all for him, for the both of them.

Lana turned as she heard footsteps come from the hallway and in came Hank, who had moved in not long after the acceptance of his proposal, with wet, slicked back hair and wearing only a pair of blue Levi's. He looked at Lana, who was on her knees with swollen red eyes, and then the piece of paper next to her.

"What's up?" Hank asked.

"Landon ran away from me, I guess." Lana replied and pushed herself up. "He said couldn't stand me anymore and wanted to grow up on his own."

"He ran away?" Hank looked at the clock next to his bed and figured that he had left through his window in the middle of the night. "Let me get dressed and we'll go look--"

"Let's not look for him." Lana interrupted. "He'll come home someday, and we'll be here waiting, won't we?"

Three Months Later:

Lana and Hank had been watching a movie together after dinner, and sharing a glass of wine as they did so when they both heard a knock at the door. Hank sat up and paused the movie as he went to answer the door. Only a minute had passed before he came back into the living room with a police officer. Hank walked into the hallway and turned the lights on as the officer began to speak.

"I'm Rory MesaVega with the WDPD." Rory began. "I believe we have your son and a female friend of his at the Sutherton Hospital. His name is Landon Luxford, would he happen to be your son, Mrs. Luxford?"

Lana nodded. "I know he ran away, and I have a good idea of where he is--...was. You said hospital, right? Is he okay, is he hurt? What about the girl with him?"

"The girl's name is Kaylee, do you know who she is, as well?" Rory asked. "As far as his condition, Landon seems to be okay with a few stitches, but Kaylee, before I had intervened, was in the middle of being raped. So, they're taking tests right now. Do you want me to take you to the hospital to see them?"

"Poor thing..." Lana bit her thumb, trying to prevent the onslaught of feelings from coming out of her mouth. "I don't want Landon to be forced to come home. You see, he ran away and left a letter telling me that he wanted to grow on his own and answer his own questions, and to probably get over his hatred towards me."

Rory was shocked. Had this woman really told her that she wanted her son to stay on the streets because he wanted to 'grow up'? Rory thought it was irresponsible, to say the least. And she was going to say exactly that until Lana continued to speak, stopping Rory right in her tracks.

"But I thought he was staying somewhere in a house or something with someone. I don't want Landon on the streets, but I don't want to forcibly bring him home, unless he wants to. Is there anything you could do? Like a safehouse they could stay in or something similar?"

"The police department doesn't have any safehouses, unfortunately. So, that isn't an option." Rory took in a gulp of air. "But maybe I could let them, you know, stay with me...I'll adopt them temporarily and when he decides that he wants to come back, I can return custody to you two. Does that work?"

"Would you?" Lana asked. "I'd feel a lot better, knowing that he - rather, the both of them, are safe."

"Even so, what do I tell him?"

Lana shook her head from left to right, her ponytail bouncing as she did so. "Make something up. If it's me, he'll probably believe anything you tell him."

"Are you sure?" Rory asked. "Don't you want to at least see him?"

Lana repeated the shaking of her head and picked up the glass of wine before lifting her head to look at Rory again. Studying her, Lana noticed her angry eyes. Her eyes just 'said' she was angry at the world, that everything was wrong and nothing at all could fix it.

"I don't." Lana replied. "I'll respect Landon and his wishes, and wait for him to come home."