Finding Me, A Jian Story | COMPLETE

"I'm either paranoid or completely in love"

• Almost to 4000 reads!

• Never mind I hit 4000 while writing this..

• Now I'm at 4.75.. I'm a procrastinator to say the least

• Sorry for the shitty chapter.. I've been having writers block and I just wanted to update.

••••••••••

Jc

I'm not stupid. I saw Kian's face when I got home. It should've been the picture under the word "depression" in the dictionary. I don't know what his problem is but I didn't want to bother him on my first day back, I was going to talk to him about it at night. And then he randomly fell asleep, so I put it off until morning.

And now he won't wake up.

I brought him to the hospital and told his parents about it. Apparently this has happened before, and he woke up after 2 days. They won't tell me the reasoning behind it, which would've been really helpful.

I didn't push it, though.

But it IS the second day and he's most definitely not awake.

And now I'm panicking.

The doctors said he's completely healthy and should wake up soon, but I still have this horrible feeling in my stomach. I'm either paranoid or completely in love, because no one else is making a deal of this.

I wish I would've asked what was wrong. What could've caused him so much stress that he checked out temporarily? I wish I would've asked.

Kian's been worrying me a lot lately. Once again, I'm not stupid. I know that he practically dies while I'm gone and then comes back to life when I get back. And I hate hearing about it, but I still want to explore, as selfish as it sounds. I wish Kian would find his own passion, in the nicest way possible.

That brought me back to the conversation we had earlier- right before we went to bed. He asked me how I figured out what I wanted to do. Does that have something to do with his coma?

I wiped my eyes and discovered that tears were streaming down my face and making my cheeks sticky. I've been sitting beside Kian's hospital bed for over 24 hours with no sleep. Maybe this wasn't the best time to try to figure this out.

After all, Kian's going to wake up soon and tell me everything. That, or I'm going to make him tell me.

I leaned back in the chair and closed me eyes.

How's this for an adventure?

•••

Kian

I hear everything. This is by far the weirdest thing I've lived through. I can hear everything around me- it's like I'm only halfway unconscious.

I know I'm in a coma- just like when I was little. Except when I was little I couldn't hear what was happening. It was just sleep and then bam- I'm awake and excited that I get to miss school for a week.

But I can hear every sob Jc makes, and I can feel his hand in mine; I can feel it shaking and I can feel that it's sticky with his tears. Or mine, because I feel like crying more right now than I ever have before.

I want to wake up.

I want to be with Jc, because he IS my passion. I shouldn't try to run away from something that feels so right.

I want to wake up.

But I can't.

I've never wanted anything more than to open up my eyes and see Jc's bright brown ones staring back at me. I've never wanted anything more than to cry tears of joy as I wrap my arms around Jc and hold him and never stop. I've never wanted anything more.

But I can't.

My eyes won't open and I might never see Jc's again.

I've never wanted anything more than to see him again.

But I can't.

•••••

Jc

"Doctor! Doctor!"

"What? What's happened?"

"Why is Kian crying?! Is he waking up??!!"

"..."

"Well??!"

"No he's still asleep.."

"Well then why is he crying?"

"He must be battling some pretty dark demons behind those pretty eyes."

••••••••••

• Again, sorry for the shitty chapter.

• Thanks for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter!

• THANK YOU FOR 4K READS!!!

• Read my other Jian story, Dead End!

• This story is coming to a clooseee!

~ ColorMeJian