Finding Me, A Jian Story | COMPLETE

The "If" Turns to "When"

Sorry I didn't update sooner.

We hit 650 views on Christmas and I wanted to spend time with the fam.

Enjoy!

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Kian's Pov

Okay,

Yeah I went to Andrea's, and yes we kissed.

I can only assume that's the reason Jc's mad at me.

I mean, he was in a good mood before I left to film the videos.

It's not even like I enjoyed it.

I was groaning and complaining about it all day. I'm surprised he didn't find out about it then. If he wasn't so goddamn cute when he slept, I would've told him before I left. Too late now, I guess.

•••

I woke up to something hard slamming against my body. An ear shattering shriek escaped my lips as I held my head. I heard a faint chuckle behind me, then Jc stepped over me and shuffled to the kitchen.

Oh yeah, I guess I slept outside his door.

Thanks for letting me in, bitch.

I yawned and made my way to the kitchen. He was drinking Arizona Tea.

"So.." I awkwardly scratched the back of my head. He just stared at me. I couldn't tell if he was glaring or not, so I just stood there in my outfit from the previous night at Andrea's. He eventually drank the whole can and stomped back to his room. I heard the door slam.

I went to my room to change. It was 8:30 in the morning. I'm usually never up this early, but I can't sleep now that I found out Jc is still "mad" or whatever. Whatever it is, it has something to do with Andrea, but why would he be mad about that?

I changed into grey joggers and a white tee, then plopped on the couch. Jc better come out soon.

I may as well entertain myself while I wait. I sent out a promotion for my and Andrea's video on Twitter, then checked my feed.

I heard something made of glass breaking in his room, so, of course, I took of and went in. He didn't lock the door. Actually, he doesn't even have a lock on his door.

I'm a fucking idiot.

Jc  was curled up on his bed, holding something. I saw a shattered mirror in the corner of the room, and soon realized that Jc was holding onto his hand, which had already made a blood stain on his white comforter.

He let out a choked sob and rolled away from me. I just climbed on top of him and sat on his chest.

I heard his breath hitch and he looked anywhere but at me.

You dumbass, you're hurt.

I straddled his waist and pinned his arms above his head because he kept trying to push me off of him. He usually would be able to, but not when he's multitasking that with wiping his eyes.

I pinned his arms up and laid flat out on him to see what the fuck he did to his hand. Little glass shards stuck out of it. Idiot.

Jc wasn't breathing. I didn't feel his chest move. I looked down at him and saw that he was staring at me, and he was holding it in. I ignored the weird behavior and got to work on his hand. After some time, he went limp under me, and I felt his eyes on me. I continued to pull out the glass, wincing every time he did.

•••

All of the glass has been taken out. Hours ago, actually. But I was still laying on him, listening to his steady breathing as he slept. I still wonder why he's mad. He's not the one that loves his best friend. He's not the one that has to hide it, but he is the one that's going to murder me when he finds out.

That's right, when. Because I don't know how much longer I can keep this in.

I was too sleepy to realize that Jc's breath quickened, and too sleepy to notice that his arm snaked around my waist. I was too sleepy,

So I slept.

•••••

Jc's Pov

The pain seemed to disappear as Kian slept on my chest. As his breathing started match my own slow one.

He's the King of Mixed Emotions.

One day he's kissing Andrea, the next he's cuddling me.

I really don't get it.

But I tried not to think about that. Kian was here, sleeping with me. He was mine for the night.

But only for the night.

It sucked to know that no matter what you do, the love of your life is never going to love you. Not the way I love him. And it also sucks knowing that he's going to kill me when I tell him.

I guess the when is a definite now. I don't know how much longer I can keep this in.

••••••••••

Sorry it's short. I just wanted to update because I was supposed to when  I got 650 reads, but I didn't. I didn't think I'd get it so fast.

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

And have a Happy New Year!

*awkwardly shuffles around because you feel oddly similar to Santa*

Should I wrap this story up? Or should it go on a little bit longer?

Tell me what I should do.

(I'm also writing a fiction story and a series of Jian One Shots. I guess I could make a one shot that occurs after this story ends, or I could make a sequel to the story.)

-ColorMeJian