It All Started On Tour

Do You Still Love Me.

"Are you even ok to travel?" Kellin asked me.

"I'll be fine" I said sitting down on the bus. He gave me the same loom he had been giving to me since I woke up.

"Stop that" I frowned at him.

"Sorry I can't help it" he said looking away.

"Go get some sleep" I said to him.

"No I'm fine" he dismissed my concern.

"Kellin, go get some sleep, don't argue with me" I said to him. He looked up to me with his tired eyes and just nodded before disappearing up the steps.

The others walked through the door and Mike sat with me. I looked to him, he had the same expression as Kellin. Self blame and tiredness.

"And you, go to bed" I nudged him.

"I don't need it" he shook his head, why was everyone ignoring me.

"I'm not asking" I said he looked to me with his droopy eyes.

"Fine" he mumbled before disappearing where Kellin was.

The others walked in and just went on there own which was probably best right now. Just like last time I felt numb, emotionless. I didn't want to die, but if I did I wouldn't care.

I still didn't entirely trust Kellin, yeah I know it was a misunderstanding and all but he could have told me about her. I guess it don't matter now. He didn't cheat so that's ok.

I think the worst part is that I said I love you to him before that bitch kissed him. He didn't even get a chance to say it back. I know he did but I feel like that was just to stop me running off and in that state of mind I didn't give a shit.

"You ok bud?" Jaime said sitting with me.

"Yeah I'm fine" I said not taking my eyes off the window as buildings and trees rushed past.

"Kels has been really worried about you" he said to me.

"I know" i said back, why does everyone keep saying that I know he cares.

"I'm going to bed" I said getting up and walking away from Jaime. I didn't feel like talking to anyone.

I looked at Kellin on his bunk. He was facing the wall fast asleep. I pulled off my clothes and stayed in my boxers before climbing up with him.

I put my arm over him but he turned around and rested his head on my chest and draped his arm over my torso. I pulled the covers over us and closed the little curtain.

"I love you" Kellin mumbled trying to bury his head further into my chest.

I sighed and stroked his hair, I didn't want to say it back, not that I don't love him but I just didn't feel like it right now.

"Vic?" He called out.

"Just get some sleep" I said kissing the top of his head. Soon his breathing evened out and he was asleep.

I picked up his phone and found a game to play because I couldn't sleep and I didn't know where my phone was.

"Vic?" Kellin mumbled. "Vic?" He called again I frowned at him. He started twitching.

"Kels?" I shook him.

"Please no, no, Vic" he mumbled moving more.

"Kellin?" I shook him. He wasn't awake he just kept shifting about and saying my name over and over. My heart sunk when I saw tears on his cheek.

"Wake up your scaring me" I said shaking him again. "Kellin!" I shouted not caring about the others.

His eyes flicked open and he looked panicked. He looked at me which a scared expression.

"Are you ok?" I asked looking at him.

"Y-you tried to" he got cut off by his own voice cracking and started to cry.

"Kels it's ok I'm here, it was just a dream" I said laying back down and holding him.

"Are you two ok?" The curtain got pulled back to show Justin there.

"Yeah, just a dream" I looked at him, he nodded and walked off again.

I held Kellin as he cried softly holding onto me.

"You killed yourself" he mumbled.

"What?" I asked confused.

"In my dream, I found you, you took pills" he sniffed.

"Well I'm here now" I said playing with his hair again.

"Why didn't you say it back?" He asked me.

"Say what?" I asked even though I knew where this conversation was going.

"I said I love you and you didn't say it back" he said sitting up so he could look at me.

"I didn't hear you say it" I smiled at him.

"Do you still love me?" He asked.

"Of corse I do" I said brushing his hair out his face.

"Why won't you say it then?" He asked. The pained look in his face hurt me myself.

"Kellin, I love you ok, I just didn't hear you, stop worrying"  he didn't say anything else he just laid back down on me. Soon I felt myself drifting off again, hopefully I'll wake up this time.

~~~

"Vic" Kellin called out my name. I felt his fingertips trailing down my chest slowly until he reached the waistband of my boxers.

He played with it and I felt his weight shift, I felt his lips against my neck.

"Stop" I groaned moving my head but it just helped him out more. "Kellin" I moaned accidentally.

His fingers slipped under the hem of my boxers. I opened my eyes and took his hand away.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing I'm just not really in the mood" I said to him. He nodded and laid back down with me.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. Looking at me.

"Not really" I sighed getting kind of annoyed that he wouldn't just leave me alone.

"Can i get you a drink? Or something?" He asked.

Kellin's POV
"Just stop!" He snapped at me. "Stop babying me, I don't need your help, don't you fucking get that I want to be alone?" He glared at me. I was just trying to help.

I held back the tears and I climbed over him and got off the bunk. I couldn't stop them when I got to the back room though, luckily no one was in there.

I sat on the floor with my back to the sofa and hugged my knees to my chest and let my tears flow. What did I do.

"Kels?" I heard Jack walk in. He sat beside me and put his arm around me.

"He hates me" I cried to him. He didn't say anything he just hugged me. Honestly that's all I wanted right now.