Metronome (FOB FanFic ft. Tyler Joseph)

Chapter 27

I watched apprehensively as Patrick walked past me and over to my dresser where I'd set the metronome before I left the house to go to the bar with Josh. He picked it up in his hands and stared at it for a little bit before glancing over his shoulder at me, the corner of his lip curled up into a smirk. "You kept this?"

"Well yeah," I crossed my arms over my chest uneasily.

"Have you used it?"

"Not to practice," I answered modestly, "I kind of just like to listen to it."

"That's okay," He retorted, setting the ticker down on the dresser and pulling back the pendulum. He released the metal rod and it began to sway side to side, the metrical ticks replacing the silence that had briefly fallen over the two of us. He spun around and walked towards me, "Piano practice isn't the only thing metronomes can be used for."

Before I could even respond, he took off his jacket and tossed it to the side, pulling me close to him and connecting his lips with mine. I instinctively closed my eyes and kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and lifting my legs up, his hands slipping underneath them and supporting me as I sat on his hips. The two of us stumbled back towards my bed and fell down, me under Patrick.

His hands trailed down my torso and slipped underneath my shirt, the coldness of his fingers sending a shock throughout my body and a slight moan past my lips. Patrick smiled and sat back, pulling my shirt over my head and throwing it on top of his jacket, giving me no time to think before swooping back in and continuing to make me feel like no one's made me feel in months.

Within minutes, all of our clothes were strewn over the floor and we were both so close. I could feel it. But there was something preventing me from living in the moment. And that something was my mind, my thoughts.

I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew this wasn't something I shouldn't be doing. This was pity sex, nothing more and nothing less. The morning after, he wouldn't be here. He would've gotten his closure and he would finally be able to leave. I was just going to be a faint memory of his a year from now, wherever he'll be, whatever he'll be doing.

I knew he meant everything he'd said. I knew he didn't love me. You wouldn't hurt someone you love over and over again, would you?

But then it happened, and I'd honestly probably felt the best I had in a while. Yet somehow at the same time, I'd felt my worst.

Patrick lied down beside me, his bare chest rising up and down as he drew the air he'd been lacking into his lungs. "That...was amazing."

I bit my lip and pulled the covers over my chest, "Yeah...it was."

He sensed the disconnect in between us and turned on his side, so that he was facing me, "What's wrong?"

"We shouldn't have done that," I whispered, keeping my eyes locked on the ceiling above us.

"Why?"

"You wanted to prove that you were serious about wanting to change things. But if you really wanted to change things, you would've gotten on that plane and you would be doing whatever you would be doing back at home. You wouldn't be here with me, in my bed, naked."

His eyebrows furrowed together, "What are you saying, Evie?"

"I'm saying that this was a mistake, Patrick," I muttered, sitting up and turning away from him, my legs hanging over the side of the bed and my back hunched over ever so slightly. "It didn't prove anything. It didn't solve anything. If anything, it made things worse."

I listened as he heaved a sigh, the bed creaking underneath him as he rolled up and moved over to me, slipping his arms around my waist. "Then what do I have to do to prove to you that I'm sorry?"

I tilted my head down and closed my eyes, "I don't know."

"You've got to."

"No, Patrick, I don't know if there's anything you can do to prove you're sorry because I don't know if I can forgive you." I glanced back over my shoulder at him and continued, "Do you even realize how much you've changed my life? In just a matter of a few months? It's insane. And right now, my life is a complete mess and you showing back up is of no help at all."

"But you want us to be together, and I do too."

I scoffed in disbelief and stood up out of his grips. "No, Patrick, you don't. You just want someone or something to give your pathetic little existence meaning," I spun around to face him, "And I'm sorry, but I don't want to be that someone. Not anymore. Not until you solve whatever the fuck is going on in your life and I do too."

"You don't get it, do you?" He retorted, "You are the solution to 'whatever the fuck is going on in my life'." He stood up and looked directly into my eyes, "I finally realized it, Evie. You knew it all along, whether you acknowledged it or not. I mean, why else would you have stayed after everything? To learn to how to play piano for that stupid fucking boyfriend of yours? I don't think so."

"Hey," I interrupted him before he could continue, poking him in the chest, "He's got a name, you know."

"And you think I care what his name was? No! The only thing I care about is that he was cheating on you, and that he broke your heart, lost your trust. But you know what? You were going to give him a second chance. And you know why? Because you're a forgiver, Evie. And I know you want to forgive me. You just don't want to get hurt more than you are right now."

"You think you know me, Patrick, but you don't! You don't know what I want and what I don't want!"

"Then let me get to know you," He grasped my upper arms in his hands, "We'll start fresh, not using the pathetic excuse of learning how to play piano. What do you think?"