I Loved You, But I Could Not Save You

1

Anakin paced back and forth across the shaggy, beat up carpet in his dimly lit apartment. His hands shaking at his sides. His mind was a cacophony of voices he was almost completely sure he'd never heard before in his lifetime. He understood the words, but not the message they were trying to send. He was deaf to the undertones of insecurity that the voices carried. He'd been hearing them too long. He already knew what they were telling him, so there was no point in listening to them now. They'd been there ever since he was 9, and they'd never left for long.

All things die, Anakin Skywalker. Even stars burn out.

He needed them to stop. He'd tried everything. Everything. You name it, he's tried it. He tried getting drunk one night, only to be greeted again by the horrid sounds that filled his mind. He tried getting high. That seemed to work for a while, but when they came back, it became worse. Louder. Stronger. They were deafening. Mindless sex, praying, hell, he even picked up writing for a while. Now that he thought about it, there was one thing he hadn't tried. No. He wouldn't do that to himself. There's a distinct moral line, and that is way across it. He, even in this state of mind, still had boundaries.

Everything dies, Anakin Skywalker. Even stars burn out.

He suddenly took in his surroundings. He had sat down on his bed and grabbed his phone. Before he could process what he was doing, he had opened the messaging app and clicked on his most recent messager. Obi-Wan Kenobi. His loyal friend he'd known since he was nine years old. No, they were more close than friends. Even closer than brothers. They had become almost one.

From: Anakin

To: Obi-Wan

please come over. i need u.

He waited. 30 seconds. One minute. A minute and 30 seconds. Two minutes.

He's not responding because he thinks you're annoying. He hates you.

The notification sound coming from his phone snapped him out of his trance.

From: Obi-Wan

To: Anakin

on my way. be there in 5.

~-~-~-~

Anakin was trying to control his stuttered and shallow breathing when he heard footsteps approaching him. He lifted his head out of his hands only to stop halfway when he heard the older man's voice.

"I was knocking for about 5 minutes before I came in, just so you know." Obi-Wan looked at him pitifully, and then simply sighed and sat down next to Anakin. He could see the pink splotching spread across Ani's face. He could see the way his hands twitched like they were being pricked with a needle repeatedly. This immediately caught him off guard. He crouched down onto the floor and reached up to grab both of Anakin's soft hands. Anakin's breathing hitched, once again.

"I d-don't fucking know what's wr-wrong with me," he said, half-choking on his audible sobs. Obi had obviously been around him while he was sad before, but... this? Never in his lifetime had Obi-Wan seen such a thing like what he was witnessing now. Hell, he had absolutely no idea what to do.

"I, um, you should lay down. It might help your breathing ... or something." Like he stated before, absolutely no idea. He eventually eased the younger up the bed, adding an extra pillow to where he lay. Anakin was still shivering and the tear trails down his face were still wet. He curled up next to Obi, making it seem as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible. Impossible, keeping in mind that he was taller than his elder. Once Obi-Wan could almost literally feel the drowsiness radiating off of Ani, he started to stand up. Starting was as far as he was going to get.

"Please stay," Anakin mumbled into the pillow. His arm tightened around Obi's pale wrist. The shorter's eyes immediately fell to where his face was hidden. He lowered himself down once again and was, without delay, wrapped in soft, muscular arms.

"Please, just, don't go."

"I won't leave, okay?" Anakin seemed to ease up after he heard Obi-Wan say those words. After ten or so minutes, he heard the younger boy's breathing even out. Obi let out a small sigh, and let his head rest fully on the pillows beneath him. They would need to talk in the morning.