Memories&Melodies

The Best Thing

Dedicated to @DemmytherCeres because she's the one who requested for this.

***

Dianne

I was not a great believer of love.

Fairy tales were stupid and happy endings were bullshits. That was what I believed in as I was growing up.

Isa ako sa mga taga-suporta ng samahang naniniwala sa walang forever. Actually, kung may magiging presidente lang sa samahang 'yon, I would willingly run for that position.

People called me bitter because of it. Maybe. Maybe not. But then, masisisi ba ako kung bakit ganito ang prinsipyo ko pagdating sa pag-ibig?

I was from a broken family. Pero siguro nga hindi 'yon sapat na dahilan para sa iba. After all, I was not the only one who experienced the same thing. But after seeing how awfully the marriage of my parents fell apart, and how heart broken everyone around after that? I was scarred for life.

Really, why would we bother with something that was not sure to last? Why waste time and effort and emotion?

Maybe, some people were masochist enough to want to be hurt. Maybe, some people were stupid enough to risk their heart on the line. Maybe, they were just way too lonely to want to find happiness from other people despite the heartbreak that was awaiting at the end of that journey.

But I was not masochist enough, stupid enough or lonely enough. So, I would not get involved at such nonsensical thing.

Well, not until he came in the picture.

Now, he was not some prince charming or knight in the shining armor. Hell, he was not even some boy-next-door who can brighten up the town. He was just some guy who worked part-time at the local Starbucks, a couple of minute away from the university.

OK, maybe he was not all that. Actually, he was a Theater Arts student in the university where I was taking my degree in Biology. Maliban pa roon, member s'ya ng Theater Club at ilang beses na s'yang nag-bida sa mga productions in and out the university. That guy was full of talent.

Kung tutuusin, matagal ko na s'yang nakikita sa paligid ko. After all, nasa iisang school lang kami, not to mention same neighborhood too. So, sino nga bang mag-iisip na hahantong kami sa ganitong eksena?

Definitely not me.

So, as I stared directly at his brown orbs, I thought, again, to myself: why would I bother if it will never last?

Sapat na ba 'yong mga araw na nagkasama kami?

Halos isang taon na rin naman noong pormal na magkakilala kami sa leadership training na inorganisa ng university. He was there as the representative of his club and I was there as the representative of mine.

For several days, I worked with him
After all, we were partners for most activities. Pero kahit nang matapos ang training, patuloy kaming nagkasama. From strangers to acquaintance to friends, and now, to something unknown...

Sapat na ba iyong pagkakakilala namin sa isa't isa?

We were actually polar opposite but somehow, we complemented each other. Magkaiba kami pero parang isang puzzle ay nakukumpleto namin ang isa't isa. Tulad na lang ng ayaw ko ng kamatis, s'ya naman, mahilig doon. So, every time we order burger, tinatanggal n'ya ang tomato nang burger ko at nilalagay n'ya sa burger n'ya.

They were simple things but they were the things that pushed us to get closer.

He was the good; I was the evil. He was the optimist; I was the pessimist. He was the calm and collected; I was a chaos. He and I were completely opposite but together, we were a harmony, a neutral, a perfect balance.

Sapat na ba ang tiwala?

In the several times we spent with each other just talking and staring at the night sky sprinkled with a couple hundreds of stars, we basically talked about everything and anything under the sun. Alam ko ang mga sekreto n'ya, pangarap at mga kinatatakutan. Alam din n'ya ang lahat ng 'yon sa akin. Alam n'ya kung gaano ako naapektuhan sa paghihiwalay ng mga magulang ko. Alam n'ya na hindi ako naniniwala sa pag-ibig. Alam n'ya na pangarap kong maging neuro-surgeon. At alam n'ya, kahit pa anong pagtanggi ko, na takot akong mag-isa.

Sapat na ba ang pagkakaintindi namin sa mga bagay-bagay sa amin?

Ilang beses na nga ba kaming nag-away dahil sa hindi pagkakaintindihan? Well, I could say that most of the fights were because I couldn't compromise. If something didn't work the way I wanted it to be, it was easy for me to just give it up and leave. And there were more than just a couple of times that I walked away from him. Akala ko, ganoon din ang gagawin n'ya. Ang umalis kapag nagiging mahirap na ang lahat. But he proved me wrong.

He fought to stay in my life. And he fought for me to stay in his. He proved to me that not everyone was like my father who would give up once everything fell apart. He taught me that walking away was not the solution.

Sapat na ba s'ya para sa akin? O sapat na ba ako para sa kan'ya?

There were way too many doubts. Too many questions. Pero habang nakatingin s'ya sa akin at hinihintay ang sagot ko, unti-unting nalinawan ang aking isip. Siguro nga, walang kasiguraduhan. Wala rin akong panghahawakan. Sa dulo, p'wede akong masaktan. Pero, at least, sinubukan ko, hindi ba?

As I finished thinking things through, a small smile crept into my face.

So, now, I was gonna take a leap and risk it all. I was gonna bet everything I had to get this because I had a feeling that this would be the best thing that could happen to me.

"I think I'm in love with you too, Rob," I had said in barely a whisper but it was enough to paint a bright smile in his handsome face.

"I knew it! You won't regret this Dianne," he said with the widest smile he ever wore.

And before I knew it, he had kissed me. And despite all the doubts and uncertainties, I knew that I was finally his and he was finally mine.

Gone was the girl who didn't believe. Gone was the girl who was always bitter about love. Gone was the old me.

Still, I was not masochist or stupid or lonely. I am just in love.

***
"Hold on, make it last.
Hold on, never turn back."

Mine
(Taylor Swift)
Big Machine
©2010
Producer Nathan Chapman, Taylor Swift
Writer Taylor Swift

/edited: 03042016/