Ways to kill yourself | Ereri

Chapter 1

You're useless

Faggot

Kill your self

All these thoughts were running through my head. I had the pills in my hand. This was the only way I thought of killing myself.

I could have

hang myself,

stab myself,

drown myself

But then I came with overdose.

I was tapping my foot nervously on the floor. My bed was so soft to sit on. I was just sinking in the mattress.

I walked into the bathroom next to my bedroom. I looked at myself in the big mirror hanging over the sink.

People were right. I really am ugly. I can't handle looking at myself anymore. I'm tired of all the comments I get everyday.

I poured a lot of pills in my hand. Maybe ten. I took my hand up to my mouth. Then I found a glass and filled it with water.

I don't have anything to live for. Please forgive me mom. Sorry dad that I never was able to meet, but still don't give a fuck about because I don't know you.

First I took about five in my mouth and swallowed them down. I stared at the other pills in my hand.

I can't do it.

Fuck it.

Just swallow them already.

Then everyone will be happy.

Suddenly everything went blurry and I could barely see anything. Then it went black and I fell on the cold floor.

Is this the end?

***

"Eren, do you hear me?" I heard an unfamiliar voice. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't see much. I could only see light.

"Eren?!" That was a familiar voice. It was my mom. Is this heaven? "Eren, answer me!"

Now I opened my eyes wide. I could see my mom and a man beside her in a room. Everything was white. Like a hospital. They were both looking straight at me. Then I realized I had a breathing mask over my mouth.

"Eren, please answer" the man said. How the hell am I supposed to answer when I have a fucking mask on?!

I tried to move my hand but it was almost impossible. I managed to point at the mask and the man took it away from my face.

"Wh-where am I? What h-happened?" I said. My voice was weak and I could barely hear myself talk.

"You took an overdose. Can you please explain why?" He said. How am I supposed to say that I tried to kill myself, right in front of my mom?

"I-isn't it obvious? Now where am I?" My voice were a little better now.

"At the hospital. I will leave you two alone" he then walked out of the room. She sat down at a chair beside the bed I was laying on.

"Eren..." She put her hand on mine and looked deadly serious. "Why did you do this to yourself? To me?!"

"I-I'm sorry mom" I hate seeing her like this. I wouldn't have if I was dead. But if I was dead, how would she be. Damnit.

"I think you should go to a psychologist" I frowned when I heard that word.

"Mom no! I don't want to!"

"You don't have a choice, I already talked with one"

"I don't need help!" Wow, that was stupid to say.

"Eren, you just tried to kill your self!" I didn't answer. "I knew you were sad but not this sad. You know you could have just talked to me"

"How would that even help?" I mumbled and looked away from her.

"We're going to meet him in a few days. And until that you have to stay at the hospital" she completely ignored my answer.

"Seriously? Why couldn't I just be dead already?!"

"Hey! Don't you ever say that again, you hear me?!" She was actually scary when she got angry. I didn't want to argue with her anymore so I just kept quiet.

***

I was at the hospital for five days and then I could go home. I get to know a boy named Armin. We were sharing the same room. He was pretty nice. Nicer than people at my school.

I was sitting in the car with my mom on our way home. It was silence between us but it wasn't awkward.

"So we're going to meet your psychologist tomorrow" she said. I grumbled at the thought of it. "Come on Eren, it's going to be fine"

"What do I exactly have to do?"

"He's probably going to ask you some questions. After all, you have to meet him often so maybe you become good friends"

"He's probably just some old fart"

"He's only ten years older than you"

"So he's only 27?" I was kinda surprised. He was younger than I thought.

"Yeah"

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"We were emailing each other because I had to give him information about you and stuff"

"Maybe you become a better friend with him" I said sarcastically.

"He's a little bit too young for my taste" she chuckled.

"So what's his name?"

"Levi Ackerman"

"Ackerman huh? Sounds like some kind of rich kid if you ask me"

"He's probably nice"

I really don't want to go to a psychologist. But I'm doing this for mom.