Ways to kill yourself | Ereri

Chapter 2

"Eren, we're going to be late!" I heard my mom yelling from down stairs. I was brushing my teeth at the bathroom.

The bathroom where I tried to kill myself. I was standing right here. In front of the mirror.

I tried to think about something else and went down to mom.

"About time. Now get dressed and I'll wait for you outside" she said and went out the door. I took a pair of shoes and a black jacket. Mom was sitting in the car and I jumped in.

***

It took about fifteen minutes before we were there. It was a big building and we went in. There was a woman in the reception. She had strawberry blonde hair.

"We are here to meet Levi Ackerman" my mom said to her.

"He's in third floor, room 312" she said and smiled at us.

"Thank you"

We took the elevator and found the room. Mom knocked on the door carefully.

"Come in" we heard a deep, gentle voice from the other side. We walked in and there sat an attractive, good looking guy with a black suit. He raised up to greet us. He was shorter than I thought. He sent us a soft smile, his eyes instantly landing on me.

"You must be Eren" he said. I nodded but I didn't smile back.

***

After half an hour my mom left. Mr. Ackerman, or Levi, had talked with her about me and what she knew.

"So Eren..." he sat above me at the desk. "Tell me about yourself"

"There isn't much to tell" I answered. I really don't wanted to be here.

"There is always something to tell"

"Well as you know, I'm depressed and I tried to kill myself. And that's how I ended up here. With you"

"Would you tell me why you tried to take your life?"

"Because I'm depressed"

"You have to be a little bit more specific if I'm going to help you"

"How are this even going to help? You're just asking questions"

"Because I have to know more about you before I can do something about it. So, why are you depressed?"

"Because people treat me like shit"

"At school?"

"Yes"

"And why do think it's exactly you that are getting bullied?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm different from most people"

"What makes you different?"

"I don't know"

"Okay. Do you have girlfriend? Or did you have one?"

"No..." I mumbled.

"I thought every guy wanted to have a girlfriend"

"Because girls suck"

"So you prefer boys instead"

"I never-!"

"Is that maybe why you look at yourself as different from others?" I started to heat up.

"Do you even know how it is to be called 'faggot' everyday?!"

"Actually I do" I didn't answer. Did he just say that he was like me? Or still is?

"Do you still live with your mom?" He broke the silence.

"Yes"

"What about your dad?"

"He left when I was born"

"Any siblings?"

"No"

It started to get really boring sitting here.

"What do you do in your spare time?"

"I read a lot and listen to music"

"What kind of music?"

"Classical. I really like the piano. I have always wanted to play it but, I don't know"

"I can teach you. I used to play piano with my mom when I was little so I have one home"

"Really?" I smiled, something I don't do a lot around people. He smiled at my reaction and I quickly got back to normal.

"So back to people at your school. Is it the same people that bully you?"

"Yes"

"What do they do?"

"Push me into the wall and say mean things to me, stuff like that"

"What exactly do they say to you?"

"Things like kill your self, that no one cares about me and they call me ugly"

"Eren, none of these things are not true. People care about you and you're not ugly at all" I blushed at the last sentence. "Do you think you're ugly?"

I didn't answer. I do.

"You can't listen to them because then you will start believe in those lies"

"But it's not lies"

"Yes it is. Now I want you to say three things you like about yourself"

"But there's nothing I like about myself"

"There has to be something" I shook my head. "That's maybe because you haven't got so many compliments before"

I nodded. I can't remember the last compliment I got.

"Well then, I'm going to say three things I like about you"

"But you just met me"

"I don't know much about your personality but I can prove that you're not ugly"

My heart started beating fast.

"I like... your hair, how it shine in the light. And your eyes, the way they glisten. Your eyes have an unique color. And of course, your smile, I got butterflies in my stomach when you smiled"

I was so red like a tomato. No one had ever said something so nice to me before.

"T-thank you. But I don't understand why you would say that to some stranger"

"It's to make a good start. We have to get to know each other after all"

I couldn't help it but smiled at him.

But I never smile.