What's So Special?

So Many Secrets

I got closer to it, and read it over tons of times. "The Queen Crazy Tour of '79... This December" I thought it was fake at first, I couldn't believe it as you would imagine. No one told me about this... They've all known for a pretty long while I'm guessing, but what are they still doing in New York?? It was all so confusing, because not even one hint was dropped. Why would they not tell me? 

I noticed myself start to breath faster and faster, so I cut my little spree short and headed back to my car. I looked in my mirror and noticed the wave of shock that flushed over my face, so I tried relaxing. But I just felt so irritable and confused, and kind of dizzy. This is the time where I could be easily forgotten, I probably don't matter much anymore, but I feel like I do. 

I got home and collapsed in my bed, I suddenly felt extremely tired, and I ached all over. I think I might be getting sick or something, and I'm so emotionally overwhelmed with no one to talk to or anything. 

For a while, I looked at my ceiling, wondering what to do, and what will happen when I have to talk to Freddie. I turned over on my side and made circles on my skin with my fingers, noticing that it was getting a little dry. I was ready to go to sleep, but I had to get up and change, so I pulled myself off the bed and took off my jacket and everything. Noticing my severely pale and dry skin, which made me even more mad and confused. 

Before joyfully hopping into bed and taking a well needed nap, I stopped in the mirror to notice the changes in my face. Like normal recently, I have very pale skin, my lips are chapped, and my eyes look huge. And my expression has always read exhausted, I felt like crying. But then my phone rang, and I immediately looked up, with total fear flooding my mind. I slowly moved over the phone and played with the seams of my shorts.

"Hello?"

"Hi, good evening darling" I quietly sighed and looked down.

"Hey Freddie, how are you doing?"

"Well, I'm actually in a good mood today! What about you love?"

"Just tired..." 

"Aww, seems like you need someone with you to keep you awake"

"Well I was just about to take a nap"

"Oh never! Not without me" He giggled uncontrollably causing me to smile just a little. It's too bad that we're never in such a good mood at once. 

"I can talk to you later, I need to sleep"

"But the day just started, I want to see you" It frustrated me how much he pressured me, why can't he just leave me alone. I remained quiet. "Are you sure you're doing fine?" He asked. I want to tell him so bad, but I refuse to do it over the phone. It took all of my strength not to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone, but I know he doesn't deserve that and I really didn't want him to leave me alone.

"I'm fine, what's up?"

"I want to see my beautiful girl"

"You high again?"

"Rose! No! I just want to see you darling, it's ok if you need some time alone"

"No, it's fine, I'm sorry. I'll come over" 

"You don't have to do a thing, I'll go over to your flat and we can talk" Well this is great. Fucking perfect.