Seen Not Heard || BOOK 1

All My Secrets

Chapter Eight ~ Idina

September

I finally found my love for school again. It came fluttering back to me. People always say that if it's meant to be set it free, and if it returns then it is yours to keep. I set my love of school free, it flew away from me many years ago. Now that it is back, I don't plan on ever letting it go.

Riley, Maya, Lucas, and Farkle have been a key part in keeping my love of school close to me. We've become so close this past month, it's like we've been best friends since childhood.

Lucas said he liked what I wrote about him in The Cowboy, so he asked if he could keep it. No one's ever wanted something I've written. I said yes, maybe it's time I share something with someone other than myself and my journal.

I still haven't told anyone else except Lucas about my past. That's a secret I'm just not ready to share.

That morning I climbed through my window after saying goodbye to Mom and found Maya waiting for me to climb over to Riley's with her.

"Ready Pookie?" she asks using my nickname.

"You know it Peaches," I reply back using hers, "Now let's go get our Pumpkin." We crawl across the fire escape to see Riley at her bay window, brushing her hair. The window is wide open for us to come through.

"La. La. La. La. La," She sings as she brushes her hair. We crawl through, and stand up.

"Ready Riles?" I ask.

"Yup," she says. We leave her bedroom, through the door this time, and go towards the front door.

"Morning Augs," I say ruffling his curly hair as he sits at the breakfast table with his mother and father next to him, "Topanga, Mr. Matthews." I greet. They smile at me. Then Riley links her arm, that isn't already linked in Maya's, in mine.

"We'll be on the subway to school if you need us," Maya says.

"Bye Fam," Riley shouts as we leave through the front door. We make our way to the subway. As we get on we all huddle around one pole. We see Lucas and Farkle sitting down on a bench in the train a couple feet away. I smile at Farkle, and he smiles back. I really like him a lot. I don't know if he thinks that way about me, but I can't avoid these feelings forever. I turn back to see Riley and Maya staring at me with googly eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"We know you were staring at Farkle," Maya says.

"You know, this exact train is where I first met Lucas," Riley says, "I fell into his lap from right here." They smile weirdly at each other, and before I know it fling my hands off the pole as the train revs forward.

"Woah!" I say stumbling backwards, eventually falling into the laps of two very familiar boys, Farkle and Lucas.

"Well hello there," I say to both. Lucas smiles at me.

"This seems familiar, but with a different girl," he says, looking over at Riley who is giggling.

"This doesn't to me at all," Farkle says, "but sometimes fate causes things to fall into your lap for a reason." And with that I stand up and grab the pole near the bench. When the train stops for a second I begin to make my way back to this girls.

"Bye Farkle, Lucas, see you at school," I say smiling, before going back to the pole with the girls and glaring semi-angrily at them.

"So, how was it?" Riley asks.

"Meet the man of your dreams, or in this case, boy?" Maya asks.

"Would you like it if I pushed you into the lap of Uncle Josh?" I ask Maya. He's visited a few times since I came here, so I know him somewhat.

"Sign me up!" Maya says. I look behind her to actually see Josh seeming bored with some girl who has an NYU badge on and is talking on the phone.

"Well good because," I start, then push her off the pole, and she goes flying into Josh's lap. Riley and I fist bump seeing what I've accomplished and that they talk while the NYU girl keeps talking on the phone.

We finally reach our stop and walk into school. As we file into our desks I smile at Maya who sends me a thank you look for what I did earlier with her and Josh. I smile back and she starts talking to Riley. Lucas and Farkle don't seem to be here yet.

"I know what you really are," Missy whispers behind me. My smile turns to a frown, and I turn my head around to see her with her arms crossed behind me. She moves into Lucas's seat for a moment.

"Call me whatever you want Missy," I say, "as long as it makes you happy sweetheart." I mock back, putting on a brave face through the sting. I'm terrified; what does she think I really am?

"Oh it does, and soon everyone will know it too." She smiles evilly at me, then moves back into her own seat far away from me as Farkle and Lucas come in. They go to their seats as the first bell rings. Lucas looks at Missy and scowls, then turns to me.

"You okay? What did that she-devil say to you?" he protectively asks.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," I say but he still looks worried, "Really I'm fine," I reassure. The start of class bell rings and Mr. Matthews is at the front of the classroom. Missy raises her hand confidently.

"I-I don't know what to do with this," Mr. Matthews says tensing up, "This has never happened before."

"Call on it sir," Farkle suggests.

"Missy." Mr. Matthews calls on her. She stands.

"Mr. Matthews if you don't mind, I have something I want to share with the class," he looks shaky but nods, allowing her to swiftly move to the front as he sits down. She has her pink backpack with her.

"Let me just get my notes out here," she says and pulls my blue journal from her bag. How did she get that? She must have stolen it when she came over to me! I grab my bag to confirm, and sadly find my journal is truly in her hands. I stiffen up, waiting to see how she'll use my journal for her own bidding.

"I have a few passages I'd like to read from a fellow student, who shall remain anonymous," but looks me right in the eyes as she hops on Mr. Matthews desk and crosses her legs. She opens my journal, which for some odd reason isn't locked.

"Missy stop," Farkle says standing.

"It's not yours," Lucas adds standing up.

"Hush up boys, it's story time," she says, and the two boys reluctantly sit, "this passage is called Invisible from which I will be reading a portion of" she begins tearing at my weak seams.

"Farkle's a mad genius, and when he takes over the classroom I smile. It's like he's taking over my heart too," she says fake awwing then pretending to barf and continues in a different spot now, "I think I have two crushes creeping up on me. Because then there's Lucas. Cute, funny, kind, sweet, protective. I'd be just like I was at my old school," she smiles adding her own words, "What people should know me for, and what I truly am,"

She stands, looking right at me as she finishes making sure every last word stings, "A freak, nerd, weirdo, awkward, geek," she moves towards my desk until she and the rest of the class are staring at me tears forming in my orbs, " What if one day it all comes crashing down? What if one day, they realize what I really am. What if they realize... I'm invisible." She smiles.

"Ladies and gentlemen, that was on behalf of the one and only Idina Jennings, the invisible," Missy announces, "I think this belongs to you," She claims holding the book out in front of me. The class is silent.

"Missy sit down now, and you will also be sitting there every day after school for the rest of the week," Mr. Matthews says.

"So worth it," she says, still standing by my desk. She starts laughing at me and so do her few friends who sit by her seat on the other side of the classroom.

I can't take it anymore I have to get out of here. I grab my backpack and run out the back entrance to the classroom. Through my blurred eyes I see Farkle grab my journal from Missy, but then turn back around.

I need to get out of here. I need to get away. All my secrets are gone. At least most of them. Where are my friends when I need them the most, do I even have any now?