Dear ____,

Dear V,

You. You were my world. I loved you as a friend, and we have been through so much. Then I loved you as more than a friend, and you did too. I fell for you. You were my first love, like actual true love. But because you were my first love, you were also my first heartbreak. I remember the night it happened, I had just sent you a poem that I've written for you, and I was texting a friend freaking out wondering if you'd like it. Then i hear a notification, it was you. I read it, and immediately wish I didn't. I cried for a while, more like sobbing. I could feel my heart ache as I grabbed for my pocket knife and held it to my chest, yearning to feel it go into my heart. I didn't want to move, or breathe, or move. I felt like the world, no, the universe was crashing down on top of me. I remember holding the knife away from myself, and slowly bringing it closer, as if I was marking the path it were to take, straight into my heart. You've said some things that damaged me greatly, and sometimes they keep me up at night. I have never loved anyone as much as you. But the thing is... I still do. After all this time, going through other relationships I thought I'd be over you and my feeling would be gone. I was wrong. I'm still in love with you, no matter how much I try to deny it. I love your laugh so much it's insane, and I love seeing you smile, even if I'm not the reason. Your happiness means so much to me, that's why it breaks me to see you struggling with depression. I want to help you, so badly, but you don't let me in enough. Oh how I just want to take all your pain away, even if it became mine. I love you.

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