1.1 | The Yakuza Bride

Chapter 67

"You can cry, you know", he whispered kindly as he took one of her hands in his.

"I'm trying not to." Her voice was strained. "The doctor told me before my parents came in. I haven't even told them. I don't even know how to tell them! I just told myself not to cry over and over - " She stopped short and let out a deflated sigh. "I'm sorry. I should have been more careful."

"Hey." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him. Hana rested her head on his shoulder and buried her face in his coat, muffled sobbing leaving her. "Don't be sorry. It was an accident. So many things happened then. It's not your fault."

She grunted a response as her throat choked up. She remembered how at the beginning of her pregnancy, she hadn't been too keen to have a baby at all. But after seeing how happy and enthusiastic he was at the news, she felt guilty for allowing this to happen to her. She felt like as if she had let him down. So that nightmare I had really did come through, she thought bitterly. It slipped through my hands and never came back.

"Why didn't you call me after you woke up?", he continued as he gently combed his fingers through her hair.

"I don't know..." she murmured. "After the doctor gave me the check up, and told me the news, I just wanted to be alone for a while. Then my parents came after that."

"I should have come earlier."

"But thank you for coming, all the same."

~

Hana had never been so glad to return to their apartment. They were greeted by a stack of letters in their mailbox. Skimming through them – bills, bills, more bills – she picked out one that bore her name and stuffed it into her coat pocket.

Juilliard.

The name of the school seemed to burn a hole in her coat she was almost sure Leon could see it too.

When he was in the shower, she finally dared to rip it open. Reading through the four paragraphs, she folded the letter back up again, returned it into its envelope and dropped it into her bin. That was a sign, if anything.

There was no more space in her dejected heart to mourn.

Thank you for sending in your application. We receive many applications each year and we review each one carefully. However, we regret to inform you that you did not pass this round of the audition.

Her chest deflated with a sigh.

I want to go home.

~

Hana could feel him tossing and turning beside her. He had been finding it hard to sleep lately, what with the work piled up from his month's long absence and new issues to settle since Juan Gonzales pretty much disappeared from the New York crime scene.

The stress was getting to him, slowly eating him up like a disease, but it seemed like he enjoyed it. He thrived extremely well on stress. His adrenaline ran high in between bouts of his temper, where he would smoke and work in his study.

The sheets rustled and the bed dipped a little when he moved. When she turned her head, he was already off the bed and headed someplace else in the house. Moonlight casted a blue glow over his white shirt which stretched over his broad shoulders and highlighted his strapping back muscles. She snuggled closer to his side of the bed, stealing the warmth he left behind. Moments later, the kitchen lights flickered on and a cupboard door opened and closed.

There was a familiar rattled of pills in a bottle followed by the sloshing of water in a glass. Then the lights clicked off and she heard him clear his throat softly when he returned. She held out a hand to him when he dived back into the warm confines of their bed.