i cut my hair after we broke up because you told me it looked better long
i called out "i am beautiful" everytime i looked in the mirror because you forgot to.
i dont need anyone to hold my hand anymore i am old enough to cross the street on my own.
i wont let your voice destroy me anymore. now i have songs playing in my head that i would rather listen to anyways.
(all of them are ones you never liked)
i am realizing that self-esteen begins with
s e l f;
it doesnt start with you or us or "babygirl" or "but this is real". it starts with myself. i dont need to feel your affection every time i walk down the streets. all i need is to fall in love with me.
i am smart enough to understand that i no longer need to stab the palms of my hands with fingernails like tacks trying to grasp on to the broken promises you never kept. i do not need to crack my knuckles to get ready to hit away any mention of you leaving, as if it was some sort of punch thrown at me. i dont need to break my wrists trying to push us together because ive finally learned how to let go.
my hands can do much better than that — for they have created poems that are bigger than you and bigger than us and they will continue to do such without needing your approval.
A/N; hey!!! i know this is super messy and disorganized. honestly, i was trying to fix it but i just couldnt figure out how, so this is more of a rantish poem where its just thoughts and ideas and something i wanted to make better but i think the genuine feelings behind it are what make it good so maybe its best if i leave it like this.
