how do you tell your parents youre starting to feel nothing and this has happened before but its never been quite this bad because you always dig yourself up but this time you cant do that you cant even start because you cant find a fucking shovel and it feels like all of your fingers are broken too how do i apologize to my dad for not wanting to do anything with him trust me dad its not you its not you its not that i dont want to spend time with you its that i dont want to be around anyone it is because i want to be away from myself i dont mean to snap at you its just how the words come out and in my head they sound fine but then youre telling me how i make it sound like i dont care about you i promise i do how do i tell my mom everything i do exhausts me even going to brush my teeth in the morning and i know i want to be where she is and i think itll make me happier but how do i tell her now that ive thought about it ive realized leaving the few friends i have will make me feel worse because now i really am gonna be alone and i doubt going to a nicer place will change how wrong the bones feel in my body i dont think itll make me want to take care of myself any more how do i tell my dad i am trying to fill my time and one of those things happens to be learning music but when i say i need help i cant do it i dont just mean guitar anymore i mean everything and maybe he'll be able to fix how easily i give up because whats the point in learning an instrument anyways its making my fingers bleed whats the point in doing anything nowadays really how do i tell my parents when i ask them to help me get weed its not for me to really try it the "proper" way its for me to try to disconnect myself from my head because i dont want to be in it anymore how do i tell them ive lost interest in everything and im no longer the daughter they think i am how do i tell them i know im not who they want me to be because im not who i want to be how do i tell them i need a break all the time and i know you just think im lazy dad but really i cant find the energy in me to get out of bed and do something as simple as the dishes and i dont know why i am like this how the fuck do i tell my dad i want to die and i see all the effort he puts to cheer me up because he sees there is something wrong i just want to know how to let him know its way more serious then he thought without scaring him
