8 things i dont know how to say

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i. how am i supposed to tell you that i crave you just like i crave sleep when ive been out all night and i have no way of getting home but my eyes are starting to feel heavy?

ii. how do i tell you that i remember everything in vivid detail and i still write about it as if it just happened? its like my fingers are made of ink, because i took all recollection of what holding you felt like and turned it into metaphors and hyperboles until my hands started to hurt from pressing down on the pen too hard.

iii. how do i let you know that you are the most toxic thing and i am happy without you, but there are still parts of me that need you again, no matter how bad of a decision it is?

iv. how do i tell you that ive tried countless times to tear myself away from you? im beginning to think my accuracy was off because it seems that a lot of who i am is still attached to you. it feels like im missing a part of me

v. how am i ever going to admit that i feel like i fucked up, but im sorry? its odd though, because for some reason im willing to forgive you for your mistakes, even though you did so much worse than me.

vi. how do i say that i think your voice flows like honey? it moves slowly, making me anticipate the moment it touches me. i have a sweet-tooth and im sick of using salt to try to clean the wounds.

vii. how do i tell you that i miss kissing you because your lips felt like velvet and we fit together perfectly? i know that i always say that you are shit at kissing (to your face) but i do it to make it seem like i dont desire those afternoons in my bedroom anymore. (trust me, youre so good at kissing it makes me feel like the earth's stopped)

vii. how do i say that i know youre just in it for a good fuck or something like that but i still want you again? i still want to make this work and i want to feel the real connection that we used to have. i know i wont be able to but i still want to let you know. how am i going to do that when this feeling to make it real again isnt even close to mutual?

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