Cancer {COMPLETE}

And Faded

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Gerards POV
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I stare at Mikey's expression, trying to read it but I can't, like usual, he has gone full blown poker face.

Little turd.

I am so use to hiding my emotions, but I usually can't, especially when I'm high on 18 billion medications, keeping me alive and going.

"Oh." I hear Mikey say.

But that isn't good enough, I want him to tell me exactly how he feels, and why.

But I know I won't, it makes me sad, I always open up to him, whether I want to or not, I still do.

But he won't.

Ever.

I wonder if I did something wrong.

I wonder if in my ill, weakened state, he is afraid if he tells me how he truly feels, then I will die or something.

I won't.

At least I think.

I just wish he would talk to me.

"Please Mikes, say something." I say in a whimper.

I can tell Frank has no idea what is going on, but I will tell him later, when Mikey leaves or is sleeping.

"What?" He asks.

"Please, tell me how you feel, you never tell me anything." I say, in a slightly whiny voice, it is definitely not how I wanted it to come off as, but seriously, I deserved to know, what he was thinking, when he knows me, like the back of his hand.

He looks at Frank and then back to me. And repeats this several times before he nods. I watch him eagerly as he pulls up a chair and scooches it as close as possible to the bed.

"No, Mikes, You come up here, I will sit on the couch or in the chair. Or even out in the waiting room." Frank says, as he slowly loosens his grip around me and makes his way off the bed.

"Mikey, do you want me to leave... or?" He asks, waiting for my silent brother to answer.

"Uhm, you can stay I guess." He replies, and climbs onto the bed beside me and I wrap my arms around his waist. Even though he is my younger brother, I still look to him for support and comfort.

"Okay, I am going to talk, for a very long time, about everything I have been holding up, for years, and I don't want you to interrupt if you don't have to." Mikey states.

I nod and swallow loudly, I hope it's nothing bad, I barely remember what I was doing 10 minutes ago, rather then a year ago or more!

I can hear my heart monitor, beeping faster, as I breathing get heavier, I scrunch my eyes closed and clutch my chest as I feel I slight pain in my heart and upper chest.

"Shhh.... Gee, It is okay, It is nothing bad, I promise." I hear Mikey say softly.

I feel his hand run up and down my back, as I hear my monitor return to it's normal pace.

I look over to the couch to see Frank, his eyes wide, as if he hasn't seen a panic attack before.

Huh.

Maybe he hasn't.

Glad I could be his first.

Yay.

I have successfully embarrassed myself, once more.

Joy, Oh, Joy.

I push my inner thought train aside as Mikey took in a breath and began to explain his feelings, thoughts, and emotions after all of these years.

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A/N

I know another short chapter, but the next one will be really long, due to mikey explaing everything. :)

If i dont update soon, keep nagging, i give you permission, because i have adhd and forget EVERYTHING,

I am dead serious.

I have the memory span of a goldfish.

No joke.

xoxokitty

*623 words*

Not edited, fight me.