Unknown //h.s.

Chapter 14

"You are delusional," I say as I shake my head. "I can't just leave Jeremy and wander the city with you"

"It wouldn't be wandering. We would have specific locations to go to. That would be more of an adventure," he says as he plays with the pen on the desk. "And I've already taken care of Jeremy, if that's what's holding you back"

"What do you mean 'taken care' of him? You make it sound like you killed him or something," I crawl back under the covers I was about to sleep in.

"He said I could have you for the day. For tomorrow," he says slowly, as if picking the right way to put the sentence together.

  I sigh and pull the covers higher over my head. The room falls silent as I take in the outrageous offer. I try to make a list in my head of all the pros and cons of going with Harry. The pros are everything a girl could really ask for: Harry fucking Styles, New York, adventure, romance, etc. I'm not exactly sure whether it's a good idea for me to accept though. In the past, I have assumed a nonexistent relationship was there and it ruined me. I couldn't get over it for almost two years. It wasn't until I was finally able to see that it wasn't all my fault, that I moved on. Ever since then, something in the back of my head has always been cautious of moving forward in a relationship. I've been scared to fully commit to something that isn't there, or that I'll be the only person who cares.

  I hear footsteps approach the other side of the bed. I want to peek and see what he's doing but I'm afraid of getting caught staring. It isn't until I feel the covers lift and the mattress  sink down, that I turn my body toward him.

"Shit! You freaking scared me!," I'm met with green eyes only inches away from me. He just smiles back at me with that charming face of his. "You're lucky I didn't accidentally elbow you in the face"

"If you did, I would take back my undeniable offer. Or not. Probably not," he says mostly to himself. He turns and lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I do the same, not knowing what to say to the beautiful man that has hopped into my bed.

"You travel a lot don't you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Don't you ever get homesick? Do you ever just wanna go back to being a kid? Sleep in your parents' arms with not a single worry, because you know you're safe as long as you're with them?" I ask. I don't know where it came from, but I don't regret doing it.

"All the time. A lot of people think that people like me have anything they could ever ask for. And it's true," he says. This slightly disappoints me, especially since Jeremy said he was super grounded. But I keep listening because I know there's more to this man than what meets the eye. "I have everything I've ever wanted. And at the same time I have nothing at all. I yearn for something real. Something raw, something that can't be bought. Something that I know nobody can ever take from me. I yearn for it more when I'm traveling. I want to go home and be with my mum, but I often can't"

  I'm baffled at this raw and sudden confession. He seems less guarded and tough than before. He's vulnerable and seems to trust me with this knowledge. It's weird to know that you have that much power over someone and so little power over yourself.

"How do you cope with it?" I ask. The warmth of his body slowly reaches my own and a chill runs through my body.

"I can't always cope. There's times when I just have to call home for it to go away. Then there's times when I just let it take over. But comfort, comfort is what helps me, I think," he turns his head toward me and I feel him watching me. "Are you feeling home sick right now?"

  I turn my head to him and stare into his eyes. I search for any sort of sign that he's playing with my emotions. He seems totally serious and genuine. But that darn part of my brain keeps telling me it's all a lie, a game to him. I try to push it back as best as I can and focus back on my current situation. What do I say? The truth.