Never Good Enough

An unusual day

Tahliah's P.O.V

I sit alone trying to remember what it felt like to be happy. To feel loved. To feel emotions, but it doesn't seem to come back to my memory. It's lunch now and I decided to go to the library even though I didn't have anything due. I'm ahead in all of my classes so I also won't have homework tonight. I sit here watching everyone type away on their computers doing last minute final touches or now starting their assignment for next period. 

I close my eyes trying to focus. If not anything around me the beat of this song. All of me by John Legend. 

I remember when I had my first crush. In kindergarten on my first friend. Warren. I've known him since basically I was born. We walked to school together walked home together. And now it's like we don't even know each other. We moved up here and we haven't talked. He's the head of the basketball team, track team, soccer team, every sports in this school that involves running he's in it. 

I guess you could say it was my fault as to how we stopped talking. I shut him out after getting raped. I completely stopped talking to everyone just because I couldn't trust them. I barely even trust myself, but here I am living today. I still like Warren up until this day. But I don't think we could ever get as close as we were before. I've thought about reaching out to him but I just never had the confidence too. 

Will he even remember me? 

My name?

My voice? 

Anything?

Does he still feel the same about me?

What will happen when we first talk?

Am I even qualified to talk to him?

A lot of questions come into my head even when I see him. I just don't know what to think. 

Lunch is over and I make my way over to my next class. Art. Art class is one of my favorite classes because I can draw/paint/sketch anything and everything that i'm feeling on a day to day basis. No one judges anyone just simply me doing me. Usually I use dark colors because that's how I feel. Angry. Hurt. Depressed. And the list goes on. I hurry in to get my seat close to the back of class. 

Seeing very few people are there I start getting my stuff ready when I see Warren walk into the class. I quickly look down and act like I don't see him. I look up and catch him starring in my direction. I turn around and look to see if anyone is behind me but there isn't anyone. I look back and I see him smiling. 

I point to myself and question - me? He nods his head yes. I feel a smirk creep on my face shocking not only everyone else but myself. What just happened?  A sense of emotion isn't normal going through one of my normal boring days. I try to shake the thought but it just won't work. 

Was he really smiling at me?

Was I doing something weird?

What was I even doing in the first place?

Art class starts and I decide to use a splash of red in my art painting, a little yellow and a mix of pink along with a lot of black to still represents my darkness. But something about that little smirk gave me a little spark in my day. 

"Well, well Miss. Tahliah looking nice today. Special occasion?" my teacher asks.

"Nope, just felt like using a little color today" I say plainly wanting to end this conversation. 

"Oh, okay. Its looks really nice" she says walking away. 

I look up again to see Warren fulling smiling at me and I feel my face warm up. What is up with me today? The bell rings signalling its time to move classes and I pack up everything exiting the class as quick as I can. 

Looking at everyone walking down the hall I make sure I have my phone in my back pocket when I hear my name being called. 

"Tahliah" I hear in the distance fastly approaching. 

"Tahliah wait up" I hear again but this time I feel a hand on my arm. I turn around to see..

"Warren?" I say breathlessly.

"Hey" he says.

I stand there frozen. What is happening to me?