Lights Of The Mind | cm & al ✓

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ashley's POV*

Once everyone is up and everyone is gathered on the couch. We start. Hotch explains everything and we get Garcia on the phone.

"Hey, sweetcheeks." Garcia flirts.

"Hey baby. We got more info." Morgan starts.

"Tell me what you need." She demands.

"Do you have any information on Mila Dalton?" Hotch asks.

"Give me a minute." She starts. She pauses before she starts again. "Okay, Mila lives in Rochchester, New York. She's 18, getting ready to be 19. Oh! She was getting ready to leave for College!"

"Thanks Mama-" Morgan starts.

"Wait! I have a missing persons report." Garcia interrupts.

I sighed, "Yeah. She's the newest victim."

"Oh. That's upsetting. She was going into criminology." Garica says quietly.

"Are you serious?" JJ asks.

"Yeah. Sadly. She was gonna be a crime-stopper, like you all." Garica sighs.

"Lillian." I mumble.

"What?" Spencer asks.

"This is Lillian. I know it, it's a feeling." I repeat.

"Ashley, we don't rely on feelings." Hotch scolds.

"Maybe not, but if it's one thing that I learned by being with the Bureau, is to always rely on instincts." I comment.

"And I get that, but we don't know for sure." Hotch sighs.

"We know she's behind this. Hotch, I know that I'm new to the team, but I don't like this. Not only is she threatening me and my husband, she's threatening everyone I love. Including you guys. I'm not gonna stand here and watch my family get hurt." I explain.

"Stamper! Sit down." He exclaimed. I huffed and sat back down on the couch. "We have to stay objective. We're doing this based on facts and on science. And if you don't like that; then resign."

My heart sunk. I couldn't believe he said that. I huffed, "I'll be back. I need some air."

I stood back up and grabbed my things from my room. My badge, firearm, phone. I walked to the door, and as I walked out, I slammed it shut. I didn't even take the elevator, I ran down the flights of stairs until I made to the lobby.

I slowed as I walked to the door; the only thing holding me back right now.

"Ash!" A voice called. I turned around and saw Spencer running towards me.

"What?" I ask.

"Why are you leaving?" He asks.

"I'm not. I just need air, besides its not like you guys need me." I sigh.

"You know that's not true." He reassures.

"What special talent do I have? You're a genius, Morgan's the door-kicker, Penelope is a computer genius, Hotch is the leader, Emily's strong and extremely brave; ready to defend someone and anyone. Rossi, he's the wise one. I'm nothing, Spencer. I'm literally nothing." I rambled.

"Stop Ash. You're only hurting yourself. You remind us that we're all human. You put yourself in the victims shoes." Spencer informs.

"JJ does that." I mumble.

"So do you. Ashley, are you not getting this. You're an important part of the team." He sighs.

"Oh really? Then why did Hotch just tell me to resign?!" I say with tears coming to my eyes. "I knew I shouldn't have taken this position." I mumbled.

"Ashley, I've read the bible from cover to cover-" He starts.

"I thought you weren't religious." I interrupt.

"I'm not. I just read it. Anyway, your God says that he has a plan for you. That He is with you. That He sent his son so that you may live and and have forgiveness." He explains.

"Maybe this is God's way of telling me that this isn't the plan he had for me." I shrug.

"But it is. I'm not religious, but I know that you can do amazing things." He smiles.

"How? It seems that I'm a disappointment to everyone. I can't keep my own family safe. The girl who said I was an inspiration to her, she was murdered, and my own parents left me as soon as they could. Just; how?" I ask, tears brimming my eyes.

"I feel guilt everyday. When I turned 18, I place my mother in a sanitarium. I feel that guilt everyday." He admits.

"But you did it out of love. You were putting her in a safe environment for herself. My parents left for no reason, and without a word." I sighed, a couple of tears rolled down my cheek.

"Another thing that the bible says; God takes people out of your life for a reason. Because they cannot go where He is taking you." He reassures.

"I know this Spencer." I snap. "I feel like I'm a nobody. That no one loves me. I literally fear for my life everyday. The only reason why I have this job is so that I can protect others. Show that someone cares."

"Do you really think that?" A voice asks. I look over Spencer's shoulder and see Joey.

I'm to ashamed to say anything, so I just nod. "Yeah."

"You know that isn't true Ash." Spencer sighs.

"But it is. I feel like a nobody. I feel like a disappointment. I feel like I have no worth." I whisper.

"Baby," Joey chokes out. "You're worth more than gold. I love you more than anything. I wouldn't trade the world for you. You're a somebody, you're the person who stole my heart almost nine years ago. You're literally my everything."

I looked down at the floor. I literally had no words. I felt like Spencer was the only person I could confide in; that he wouldn't tell anyone. But here, my husband had heard the whole conversation.

"You guys really need to talk. So, I'll let you be." Spencer nods.

"Thank you Spencer." Joey sighed. Spencer walked off the other side of the lobby, and Joey walked over to me. "Why didn't you tell me that you felt like this?" He asks.

"I-I don't know." I mumbled.

Joey took my hand and laced our fingers. "You know that I love you. I love you more than anything in this world." He starts.

"I love you too." I whispered.

"Baby, all you have to do is trust me." He smiles slightly.

"And I do trust you. You're the person I trust the most." I inform.

"Then tell me what happened. It's gonna be okay." He mumbles.

"The recent victim was going into criminology. I had a feeling that this was Lillian's doing. But Hotch is telling me that we're doing this based on facts and on science. And if I didn't like that, then I needed to resign." I explain. "Ever since I've been with the Bureau, I've learned to trust my instincts."

"Then you trust your instincts. Baby, you've done so good. Remember when you were invited into the BAU?" He asks.

I nod, "Yeah. But I told them no because I couldn't be away from you."

"Listen, I'm sure that doesn't happen often. They wanted you. You're extremely talented. Baby, I know that you have a heart. I know that you put yourself in others shoes. That's why you're doing so good. You care about others." He reassures.

"Maybe I care too much." I mumble.

•A/N•

Hey! Another update! I decided to bring in a little drama; or a lot. How do y'all feel about angry Hotch? He's pretty scary.

Anyway, I put in a little twist. And I brought in a littlw bit of Ashley's past, so we know a little bit more about her.

I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and I'll have the next one up as soon as possible.

-xxBabyxxGirlxx😘