The Death of Me

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

I was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, doing the most popular activity that girls do: overanalyzing. I kept replaying everything that had happened between me and Jay. I wondered if he would break up with Gabby. I wondered if he would tell her why. I wondered if he would name names. I wondered if Gabby would hate me forever.

But then… I wondered if Jay didn’t think much of it all. I wondered if he would pick Gabby over me, or he would just continue dating her and I would be the other woman for the rest of the year. I know I should’ve been reeling in my euphoria, but instead I was dreading what would happen. Either way, feelings would get hurt, and I never wanted that to happen, even if I had been dying of jealousy. I loved my sister, even if this rift between us seemed to be tearing us apart. I didn’t want to hate her.

I knew she would hate me.

Speak of the devil, and he will appear. Gabby opened my door partway, peering in at me. I tried to smile, but I was afraid I would burst into tears. I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t deal with this yet! It had barely sunk in that my sister’s boyfriend had cheated on her… with me. I was the lowest of lows you could get, and I felt so dirty I could hardly stand looking at my little sister. Older sisters were supposed to protect their baby sisters. I had failed.

Yes, the kisses were very sweet and sentimental, in-the-moment, and it didn’t seem wrong while it was happening, but any way you look at it and no amount of sugar-coating it can take away the fact that it was cheating.

“Sissy,” Gabby sighed, opening the door all the way and entering my room. She shut the door quietly behind her. As she turned around, I tried to dissect her expression to see if she knew anything. I was terrified of how she would react. Her bottom lip was pouted slightly, her eyes tired, and her shoulders slumped. She just looked utterly defeated. This was definitely not a good sign.

“W-what happened?” I asked, my voice hoarse and worried. She came over to me and collapsed beside me on my bed. I scooted over to make room for her, and she curled her body up against mine. I buried my head into the pillow close to her head, and our hair tangled together, streaks of black and blonde.

She sniffled and said, “Cheerleading try-outs were so hard. All of the girls that tried out are so good, and I’m not so sure that I’m going to make it.”

I almost felt like crying in relief. This was about cheerleading. Cheerleading!

I reached out and stroked her hair soothingly as her eyes filled up with tears. I murmured soft consolations to her, trying to calm her down. I owed her that much. Actually, I owed her so much more. Her tears fell and so did mine, because when you really care about someone, you can feel their pain along with your own. She didn’t question why I was weeping, and I didn’t offer an explanation.

We laid in bed for a little while, and slowly, we drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.

= = = = =

When I woke up, the bed was cold and the room was dark. Gabby was gone. I had a bad taste in my mouth that I usually got after a nap, and I was sweating in my sweatpants and pull-over.

I rolled over and stretched, releasing a yawn and rubbing my eyes clear of their fogginess. I reached over to my side table where my wire-rimmed glasses sat, and I put them on and slid out of bed. My bedroom door was slightly ajar, and light spilled out into my dark room and I could hear voices.

I opened my door and entered the hallway, trying to be as quiet as I could. I could recognize one of the voices easily: Gabby. I wasn’t sure about the other.

I rounded the corner and entered the living room, and to my utter surprise, Isaac was talking to Gabby heatedly. The room was bright with the overhead light on so that I had to wait a second for my eyes to adjust, but what was clear was that Isaac’s voice was filled with firmness. It wasn’t as bad as his fury that I had witnessed, but it was still intimidating. Gabby was standing in front of him, her stance tense, her arms crossed over her chest, and she looked like she wasn’t backing down.