To Real to be Fake

Alex

The hallway lights of the hospital were flickering. I couldn't find the energy to be annoyed, or sad, or upset. The only emotion I could feel was confusion. Why Zach? Why not me?

Why?

Room 203. I took a deep breath and opened the door to the hospital room. The smell of antibiotics and hand sanitizer filled my lungs. My heart skipped a beat seeing Zachary passed out on the bed. I walked over to the side of the bed and sat down.

Why you Zach?

I try to hold back tears thinking about what happened that night.

~~~

Ouch. My whole body aches. My head was throbbing. I slowly started to open my eyes. The blue and red lights were blinding. I take in my surroundings, my seatbelt still tightly strapped against my chest. I turn to look at Zach and see something terrible. His head rested on the seat in front of him, glass window cracked and a huge gash on his forehead.

I tried to cry out for him but all that escaped was a gasp. Tears started pouring down my face as EMTs pulled is out of the wreckage. The only thing on my mind was Zach. If he was okay or not. Zach needed to be okay. I don't know what I would do without him.

~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The heart monitor beeped at a steady pace, calming me, and making me anxious at the same time. I steadied my breathing and looked down at Zach. The gash on his forehead was healing, and his broken ribs were healing as well. The doctors said he would make a full recovery, that he would survive.

"Excuse me, mam?", a voice said from the entrance to the room. "The visiting hours are over. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The nurses voice stayed calm. Therapeutic, almost. She locked eyes with me, and although her voice held emotion, her eyes showed something else. They were empty, saying those words meant nothing to her, just part of the job. The suffering I was feeling, Zachary was feeling, meant nothing to her.

I choked back a sob and took one more look down at Zachary. Then I said 3 words I thought I would never say to his face. 3 words I had wanted to say for forever.

"I love you." I croaked. More tears threatened to escape. I held them back and stood up. "I love you so much, Zachary." Nearly sobbing I walked towards the door.

As I made my way down the long, illuminated hallway, nurses ran past me. Commotion broke out and everyone raced passed me. I turn around and watch where the were going.

Room 203.

Dazed I stand there for a moment. Not being able to move or think properly. I start to run down the hall, as fast as my heavy heart would let me. I push my self passed a few nurses standing by the door. Only to be welcomed by the worst sound in the world.

Flatline.

That moment my entire world shattered. I suddenly felt it get harder and harder to breathe. My vision blurred and everything went into slow motion. Nurses running around, the hum of machines. The only thing I could hear, and focus on was that terrible noise.

That long continuous beep. That flatline, ended my life. That flatline ruined everything.

I let the tears fall. All of them. I let all of my emotions out. My love, hate, confusion, sadness, anger, everything. All I had and more flowed out of me. Until I was empty.

Without Zachary, I was empty.