*Prologue*

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Prologue

He crept into my room again.

When the sun has settled behind the mountains and everyone else went to bed. Just  like every other night, I lay with my back, straight, facing the door. Waiting for the turn of the door knob and the bone chilling cold that reaches my toes.

If I listened hard enough, past the gentle breeze outside and the ticking of my clock, soft yet heavy steps echoed down the hall.

But I learned it was best to pretend instead.

Pretend like the footsteps bringing my own personal hell were nothing more than a nightmare.

When he caresses my face, murmuring how perfect I was, he didn't say it with lust or sexual tension but, proudness.

I heard the doorknob turn and I felt the vicious, biting cold that exposed my toes. A single tear escaped my eye but, I just kept pretending. 

Just kept pretending it was all just nightmare.

"Amira" my father whispered in a sing song voice. I shivered when he gently grabbed my shoulder to make me face him.

He gave me lingering kiss on my cheek and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I felt dirty. I just took a shower but, when he touched me I felt like I was filthy again. I felt like I just rolled around in the dirt outside or I spilled ice cream all over my clothes or when you fall on the ground and scrape your knee and you have the urge to clean it because it feels so filthy. That's how I feel whenever he touched me.

In school, you learn about good touch and bad touch. They tell you to tell an adult if someone will touch you in the wrong areas but, what they don't tell you is how hard it is.

You want to tell so badly but you can't. They say, tell your parents but, you can't. They say to tell a trusted adult but, you can't. You can't tell anyone.

A little girl is supposed to be able to trust her father. What happened to my father? Why can't I be able to trust him?

A little girls Daddy is supposed to protect her from all the bad guys. He's not supposed to be the bad guy. What happened to my Daddy?

I love my Mommy. I tell her everything. Just not about Daddy. I want to though. Daddy told me that if I tell Mommy then, he's going to kill her.

I know he's not lying.

Daddy is very serious when he talks to me. He is serious about everything. Mommy thinks he's so perfect. She thinks he loves her very much. She doesn't have a clue about what Daddy does to me when she's asleep. She doesn't know how Daddy beats my brothers when she's not home. She doesn't know anything.

I'm brought back to reality when I hear the sound of fathers belt buckle. He drops his pants and comes closer to remove my clothes.

I hate it. I hate him.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I let my tears fall freely as my father closes my bedroom door. It's just a nightmare I keep telling myself but, I can't even convince myself. I know that this is real life.

I'm only eight and I know this isn't right. Daddy cannot brainwash me. I need to tell Mommy. But, I have to make sure that Daddy is not home. He cannot find out.

::::::::::::::

In the morning, I go down to breakfast and I see Daddy smiling at me. I keep my head low and try not to look at him.

He gives me a kiss on the cheek before he leaves for work.

I quickly run to the window to watch his car pull out of the drive way. After he is out of sight, I sprint to Mommy and tell her everything from what Daddy does to what he will do if she finds out.

Mommy is crying. She tells me and my brothers to quickly grab our stuff. Mommy runs up to her room to pack her things.

I am so happy that we are finally going away. I will finally be free from that man.

Right when we are about to walk out of the house with all of our things we bump into Daddy. What is he doing here? Maybe he forgot something. He is furious.

"Where are you going?" His voice echoes throughout the entire house.

Mommy is shaking and so are my brothers and I. We all knew what Daddy was capable of. We all knew that he is going to kill Mommy. It's all my fault. Mommy doesn't deserve this. I do.

"I told you not to tell anyone, Amira." My father practically has steam coming out of his ears. "Now Mommy will pay for your mistakes."

He takes his pocket knife that is connected to his keychain and slices Mommy's throat right in front of us.

We all scream except for my father as we watch my mother fall to the floor lifeless with a pool of her own blood soaking into the carpet.

Daddy lunges for any of us but, we all make a run for it. We swiftly make it out of the house and start screaming for help at the top of our lungs.

A neighbor comes out and protects us from Daddy. Another neighbor calls the police.

They come and take Daddy away from us for good telling us that everything is going to be okay.

Boy, were they wrong...

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