authors note: h o l y f u ck . there is a reference to sexual abuse in this chapter. read at your own risk.
--------------------------------------------you weren't sure how it happened, but you just wanted to erase the memory from your brain. wash your mouth out with soap. you weren't clean, you would never be again. the only thought in your brain being "poor namjoon."
the same day you first went to physical therapy, you were released from the hospital. here you were a year later, in possibly a worse state than you went in. mentally of course, since you could get up and tread around a little now. i hate him. i despise that pig of a man. one day, after your physical therapy session, you'd somehow ended up ontop of hoseok. your hands where going wild in his hair, his strong clasp on your hips. the passionate kiss between you and him being the only communication you needed. you had a small shred of guilt in the back of your head, paying it no mind. but you did pay it mind. you pushed away from your teeth clashing and spoke in between pants.
"Hoseok, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have led you on. I have a boyfriend and we need to stop." but you could see his hungry eyes. He pushed you over and slapped you, placing himself ontop of you. "You don't think I'm that fucking dumb, do you? I know you have a boyfriend, but i've loved you since the first time I saw you." he pinned your hands against the back of your head, tears streaming down your face. He placed his hand on your inner thigh, holding your frail frame down. "This is just my way of showing it." you saw a glimmer of pure evil in his face. He bruised every part of your body, clawed at unspeakable places. leaving you dirty, tainted, spoiled. After he had finished, he got up and threw a few dollars on you. what a scary place in the mind of someone whos supposed to help you. you arrived at your house, limping, every peice of you shattered. You took showers. how many had it been? 10, 15? you didn't even care to count. you just wanted to drown. why would i do that to namjoon? why? you looked in the mirror, tearing one of his stupid sticky notes off the mirror.
See yourself the way I see you Jagiya. I'll stay with you forever. - Namjoon.
you clawed at your arms, legs, and neck. not caring if the dark bruises burned at your touch. get me out of this body.
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