Vampire and Single

5. The Search

Monday

9.10 a.m. I have phoned in sick. After spending the entire night crying about being a vampire and the most loneliest I have ever been, I could not face going into work. The thought of making small talk with Helen, my boss, about her marital issues or childcare problems made me claw at my brand new tartan pjs.

I am sat on my sofa sipping from a glass of.....I know this is gross....but I need it....cold blood.

Please believe me when I say that I only drink this stuff when I am desperate. I would hate you to think that I do it whenever I please. When my emotions are running wild so do my killer instincts.

About an hour ago I was weeping hysterically, whilst watching my favourite breakfast TV programme 'Good Morning Britain'. A feature was shown about pig farming.

I found myself clawing at the TV screen and snarling at all those meaty and fleshy little pigs. It was really frightening and I had to yank my face off the screen. The mess I made me nearly pass out. There was yellow slobber and drool all over my TV screen and on my wooden floorboards. I wept as I cleaned it up and shouted "I want to die!" at the top of my voice.

Hot salty tears are once again streaming down my face. My situation is unbearable. This is so unfair. I have become something disgusting and frightening. I am gradually losing control over my body and it won't be long before I do the unthinkable and kill someone. I thought I could handle it but I don't think I can.

With the back of my hand I wipe my cheek and grab a load of tissues. I don't want to kill anyone. I am a peaceful person. If I think back on my short little life I don't think I have ever been horrid to anyone. I step over insects - that is how peaceful I am!

Yesterday's incident with Uncle Don and his neck vein has played on my mind all night. Ok, so I dislike going to those sort of gatherings but now I have no choice now but to avoid my own family. It is for their safety and something my parents won't understand. I will have to become the black sheep of the family and be someone who is rarely mentioned.

Earlier I drew Boris on a piece of paper, stuck it to the wall and fired darts at it. Then I got bored, flew at the wall and ripped the paper to pieces with my fangs.

Oh, did I not tell you that I can now fly? It is a very recent thing.

A couple of nights I ago I was busy reading five vampire fiction books in quick succession. Once I saw the sun start to rise I left my bed with the intention of shuffling across my bedroom to get my rabbit slippers. I wanted a drink. It was really weird. One minute I was thinking about how depressing life is and the next minute I was in the air.

I thought I was hallucinating. My depression had turned into delusion. You are probably thinking that flying is really cool. Well I hate to dampen your spirits but it's not! I don't know how to stop or turn corners - mid air.

The only benefit of being able to fly is that I will be able to transform my commute to work, although I will have to work out what height I can go. Plus there is the added danger that someone will see me.

10.03 a.m. I am on Google searching for other real life vampires. I refuse to believe that I am the only person suffering with this ailment. There must be others out there. Boris was a vampire. I am not alone.

10.08 a.m. There is a knock at my flat door. I let out a small growl. There are so many websites, claiming to be run by actual vampires that I have my work cut out here. I don't really need to be disturbed. I open the door. It is my landlord Mr Smith; a small grey haired man in a navy suit which looks two sizes too big for him. I see that he has dressed up for the occasion of coming to visit me.

'Sasha, there have been some complaints from other flat owners about the smell coming from your flat. I have to inform you that unless you clean up in there I am going to have to ask you to leave.' His voice is sharp and stern.

'Yes ok, I'm sorry,' I say, nodding furiously.

'Very well, you have a week to sort yourself out. Can I just ask what is it that you are doing in there?' he says, placing his hand over his mouth and screwing up his face.

'I just need to tidy up.' I give him a reassuring smile.

'Sasha ...your gums are bleeding quite badly.'  He mumbles and leans towards me, his beady blue eyes fixed on my mouth. I yelp in shock and place my hand over my mouth. This is what happens when you drink too much blood whilst surfing Google for other vampires.

'Are you feeling alright?' he asks, his eyes now scanning my face. 'You look very pale. Do you think you should see a doctor?'

'Look I am fine. I will tidy up and no one will complain again. Have a nice day.'  I close the door.

As I listen to his footsteps clip clop off down the hall I slide down my door and cry like a baby. This is like a nightmare. Soon I will have nowhere to live and I will have turned into some killer vampire.

I am now frantic that Mr Smith suspects I am not right and it won't take him to review the facts; flat reeking of meat, blood all over mouth, pale faced tenant and come up with the answer of 'vampire'.

More tears are now flooding my cheeks.

11.19 a.m. I am back to surfing Google with a large glass of blood - I feel like enjoying myself.

Hang on. I seem to have entered a vampire chat room. There are people on this online chatroom called 'Vampire Hang out' claiming to be real vampires. I must proceed with caution. They could be a bunch of weirdos and freaks.

Make the decision to stay cautious and not reveal too much about myself. I don't know who I am talking too.

11.56 a.m. There is a guy on here called Henry who claims to be a vampire and we have had the most extraordinary chat. I think he must be real as he understands what I am going through and can relate to some of my problems.

12.01 p.m. Still chatting to Henry about trying to stop myself from killing everyone I meet.

A bleep on my phone tells me I have a text.

It is from Sam. Apparently he called my office and they told him I was sick.

I growl whilst responding. 'I am fine'.

I return to talking to Henry in the chatroom.

12.15 p.m. My mother rings just as Henry and I covering an important topic - can vampires have sex?

I stifle a loud growl as I pick up the phone.

My mother has also called my office this morning and discovered I was unwell. She was nervous it was connected to Aunt Polly's buffet she decided to call me.

Sometimes I wonder why my mouth and brain disconnect when talking to my mother.

'Are you in bed, Sasha? asks Mother, using her concerned tone.

'No I am chatting to some bloke online,' I reply, immediately cursing myself for being so honest with my mother.

'Please don't go meeting strange men from the internet, Sasha,' warns my mother. 'You really don't know who you are dealing with these days. I mean you could be talking to a murderer.'

'Or a vampire?' I say, before letting out a little giggle.

'Rubbish, Sasha, they don't exist,' barks my mother.

I hang up the phone some time later, after my mother has informed me that Uncle Don hurt himself whilst mending a cabinet last night. He has taken to his bed and Aunt Polly is even colder than she was yesterday.

When I finally get off the phone I ask Henry where he is in the world. Expecting him to say 'Russia' or some far flung place near a jungle.

He types back 'London'.

It looks like I have a date with a fellow vampire.

Maybe today is not so bad? I can now fly and I have a date!