Vampire and Single

6. Helen's Interview

Thursday

9.45 a.m.  I am in work. It is the first day back after my three-day sickness.

Helen and I are in a dreary grey meeting room. She is supposed to be conducting my 'Return to Work Interview' - which should consist of her asking how I am feeling, giving an update on what I have missed and asking me how she should classify my illness on the HR system. Instead she is providing me with an update on her marital issues.

'He [her husband] is acting very strange around me,' she says in a low voice, whilst squeezing her cup of plastic water.

'Oh,' I say.  My mind is somewhere else. I am thinking about my meeting with Henry, later tonight. It is exciting to think there could be someone else out there like me, but on the other hand he could be a complete weirdo with a vampire fetish.

'Sasha - are you listening to me?' Helen snaps, making me jolt out of my thoughts.

'He won't come near me, if you know what I mean,' she says, stroking a long strand of her long greasy brown hair. "I have tried every trick in the book." She whispers.

I fidget in my seat. I am trying desperately to get rid of the image in my head of my boss seducing her husband and I am suppress the ball of anger rising inside of me. At least Helen has a husband and doesn't have to face a life of being a spinster vampire. If this thing with Henry does not work out then I will have to face life alone. Helen should be grateful!

Under the table my hands start to claw at my black work trousers.

My eyes find her plump soft neck and I gaze longingly at it. Helen's account of last night's conversation with her husband at the dinner table fades out as I spot a blue vein.

I am clawing at my trousers like crazy. My thirst for blood has returned. It is a bit like when you are in desperate need of a coffee but about a thousand times worse. This is getting out of hand. A warm glow is shooting up through my spine at the thought of tasting her blood. Helen's neck is doing things for me.

Oh my goodness this is awful.

9.52 a.m. I cannot kill my line manager. I need to get a grip of myself. Helen is annoying but harmless. She does not deserve to die in a 'Return to Work Interview' on a Thursday.

'I think he's having an affair.' Helen announces, turning to her laptop and typing something in.

I remain silent and try not to stare at the pulsating green vein in her neck. 

'You don't want to hear this - do you Sasha?' she asks, hitting the keys on her laptop with force. 'Never get married or have kids because it will all end in tears!' she hisses.

'I don't intend to do either,' I announce.

'And why not?' asks Helen, her eyes flicking in my direction.

My chest aches. Marriage is something I will never get the chance to experience. 'I don't think I will find someone and I'm not really into kids.'

'I know I occasionally moan and whine about my family Sasha,' says Helen. This is an understatement. In all the time that I have worked for Helen I don't think I have ever known her to say something nice about her rugrats or her poor husband.

'But they will bring you so much pleasure....' Helen pauses and checks her phone which has just bleeped.  I can hear her muttering to herself and I can feel myself getting irritated.

'He's working late AGAIN... ', she snaps, still staring at the phone.

I stifle a growl, and grip into the fabric of my trousers. Staring down at my trousers in horror I can they are in tatters. How am I going explain this to Helen and the office?

'Now then, what was wrong with you so I can update the HR system' Helen asks.

I take a sharp intake of breath and quickly in my head run through my symptoms:

- Violent mood swings.

- A raging thirst for blood.

- Vile slobbering.

- A dark and heavy depression about being a vampire, lifted slightly by going on an online chatroom and meeting some guy who claimed to be a fellow vampire.

'It was a bad cold,' I mumble.

10.00 a.m. I hurry out of the meeting room and creep back to desk using Helen as a shield. No one must see my trousers.

 'Sasha - look at your trousers!" shrieks Helen as we sit down at the desks.

My heart is beating loudly. 'Oh, its my tumble dryer.'

Helen frowns. 'Please sort yourself out, Sasha,' she snaps, whilst checking her phone.

5.15 p.m.  Walking home in the rain and feeling excited.

Tonight I could get to meet another vampire and if all those books and films are right I could be in for a treat. Vampire men are notoriously hot and sexy.

Before I became a vampire I did enjoy a healthy love life. I am not going to lie to you. It was fun, casual and very pleasurable.

Obviously once Boris changed my life all dating stopped overnight. All I wanted to do was lock myself away, cry and stuff my face with meat based dishes.

The last thing on my mind over the last year has been getting friendly with a guy.

Over the last few days I have started to feel different. When you are a vampire every feeling is a lot more intense. It is like your mind upgrades all your thoughts. Even getting intimate with a vampire. Last night I was chatting to Henry on email. He was talking about how he enjoyed working out in the gym and I was reminded of a good looking guy I used to date, who was a personal trainer. Henry was telling me about how the gym makes him horny and all he wants to do is have sex. He talked about how making love between vampires is out of this world. I don't think I have ever experienced such a powerful rush of what can only be described as hot lust. After my strong   feelings subsided I opened my eyes to find I had gripped my chair so hard there were two large gaping holes in each arm rest and one of my neighbours was knocking at my door asking me to turn down my natural history programme about lions (I may have roared once or twice). The rest of the day was spent worrying about what I would do to a normal (non-vampire) man if I got one of my urges.

I'm on my way to meet Henry. I am trying to not get carried away with the situation. In my head he is going to be an absolute stunner. He will give me lots of amazing advice and we will end up going home together for a night of wild vampire passion.