Her Mistake.

Chapter 3: Therapy.

I look around my house one more time, isn't there suppose to be an abundant amount of food. Casseroles, pastries, baked goods, or home cooked meals? Anything? Aren't the wife and kids suppose to be too grief stricken to cook or do anything? Well I guess that's only in the movies.

I'm guessing in real life people think it's good enough to say "it's gonna be okay" or "You'll make it through this." or even the one I hate the most "I'm so sorry for your loss." yeah I'm pretty sorry about it too, but thanks anyways because I'm suppose to be happy you thought about me.

Mom keeps telling the other kids they have to go back to school tomorrow, but I can take an extra day.

She said that and I couldn't help but say, "Why because I killed him? Is that why I get an extra day off?" Which makes my mom start crying, so of course Brandon pulls her into his embrace. Then says to me, "Nice going. Do you think you could stop making our mom cry, little bitch?"

Then mom sobs into his shirt "Do not call your sister that."

"No mom, he's right."

I run back up the stair and Bandon yells to me, "Thanks for making mom cry, and then leaving." I slam my bedroom door as hard as I can and start throwing stuff. Or slamming stuff, actually both, I'm just so upset. With what happened and with Brandon being mad at me. He keeps saying don't blame yourself, well it's a little hard to do that when everyone around you is blaming you for it, even your own mom.

Who keeps insisting I go to therapy, which I actually can't get out of because she's already made the appointment. I start therapy the day after tomorrow, so Thursday.

I sit down on my bed and turn my phone back on. I let all the messages come in, by the end of that I have 400 something messages. And it's 8 o'clock. All the messages say exactly the same thing; I'm sorry for your loss, it's gonna get better. So I literally reply to everyone with the same thing: Thank you for you condolences. Except for Alec who said, "Hey bitch ily don't ever forget it come see me."

I reply back to his message with "Mom's totally making me take therapy."

I get "You're welcome" from 400 people while I wait for Alec to text me back.

I lay on my back, in bed for about 20 minutes waiting for Alec to text back. I lay there reading all the quotes me and my dad wrote up there, with my name in the center of all of them.

I'm crying when all of a sudden I hear my IPhone ding, I shoot up knowing that it's Alec. Well more hoping it's Alec, I click my phone on and it is Alec, "Therapy is probably a good thing Kat. You're gonna need it."

"UGHHH I hate it when you're right."

"I know you do. Do you need anything though?" I realize that even though I'm texting Alec I'm still crying. So I guess I do need something, I need Alec to come over. "911, EMERGENCY." I reply. "Balcony?"

"Where else?" I send back immediately, I walk to my balcony attached to my room, and sit. I left my phone inside, so I have no idea when Alec left. I'm just gonna wait here for him. I lay on the floor of my balcony and look up at the stars. Just as I start to make out a constellation, I hear Alec's voice, whispering, "Hey Kat I'm here, and coming up."

I stand up and look over the edge and say, "Okay, but why are you whispering?"

"Actually I don't know" he whispers again. I roll my eyes and step out of his way and let him climb over the rails. We lay there for hours he doesn't ask what's wrong, he doesn't ask why I told him I was having an emergency. He just comforts me. And by comforts me I mean lays with me for hours not saying anything, just lets me know that I have a friend that cares.

He leaves when my mom comes in my room to tell me it's time for him to leave, and I need to go to sleep. Because other people in the house have school. She also thanks him like 40 times for being there for me during this "rough" time. More like thanks for keeping my daughter sane, while she goes through hell. I honestly don't know why she's gonna make me go to therapy, Alec is all the therapy I need.

I lay in bed for a few hours, crying on and off, before I finally decide to go to sleep. I get out of my bed walk over to my door and I lock it. And change from my Hollister jeans and Vans t-shirt to an old band t-shirt that was my dads. It's way o big for me, it comes down to my knees. So it's not like I have to wear pants with it. I leave my door locked and climb into bed. I try to sleep but it doesn't come.

I look over at my nightstand and see my old diary. I haven't written in it in like 4 years. But for some reason tonight seems like the perfect night to write down all my problems. So I grab it and start to write. And before I know it I'm crying again.