Her Mistake.

Chapter 4: So it Begins.

     I woke up to this alarming noise, I guess that's why they call them alarm clocks. I roll over and smack the snooze button, God how I wish that shut Brandon's off too. 

     "BRANDOOOOOON" I yell without even getting out of bed. It must have worked too because his alarm clock goes silent. And next thing I know he's standing in my doorway in nothing but his underwear. Thank God he wears boxers.

      He leans against my door frame "You rang?" he says and then smirks. I throw my pillow at him "Yeah so you would shut your alarm clock off, get out of my room," I say as I throw a decorative pillow at him "you're disgusting!"

     "Shut up before you wake up everyone in the house." he says as he picks my pillows up and walks away with them.

      "Brandon!" I whisper in my yelling voice. I look around my room, and when my eyes meet my blanket I remember that last night I wrote in my diary. I pick it up and the page from last night is stained with tears, I pick up my pen and write the date Oct. 24, 2016. I pick up the old leather book and close it. Before setting it down on my nightstand I kiss it and whisper into it's cover, "I think you're gonna be my salvation."

      I can't tell people the things that I wrote in that diary. I mean yeah sure everybody already know everything I wrote in the diary, even though I haven't admitted. I still can't say it out loud it's just too sad. I set the book down on the nightstand and jump out of bed to go get my pillows back.

      I get half way to Brandon's room before I realize I have to pants on, I race back to my room throw on a pair of leggings and race back towards Brandon's room.

      When I get in there I see Brandon sitting in his desk chair, but he's turned backwards so it's just the top of his head. "Hey captain dick, wanna give the pillow back?"

      "No." he says then as I start walking towards him to retrieve my pillow, he jumps up out of his chair and hits me with it, "Oh you didn't!" I run over to his made bed and start throwing pillows at him. "You messed up my bed!" He yells and we start throwing pillows around the room, I'm praying that we don't break anything.

      Before we know it we're laughing, just like the good days, as if nothing has changed. Then we make eye contact and instantly my brothers eyes go from filled with joy, to filled with devastation and pain. We both immediately stop laughing as if we've realized that it's too soon to laugh we're suppose to be in pain. How can we laugh when we should be in pain from our loss?

      I start to make my way towards Brandon's bedroom door, when he calls after me "Kat, wait."

"Yeah?"

     "Just know I don't blame you for what happened, and I love you. You'll always be my little sister." He says that and before I start to cry again I walk out of the room. I try swallowing the lump in my throat but I can't. Tears start to surface on my eyes and I'm trying to blink them away as I try to swallow the lump in my throat. Neither attempts are successful I have tears streaming down my face, and it's getting harder and harder to breath. Every breath I take is shaky and loud and hurts my throat. My eyes begin to stink.

      I get back to my bedroom and I close and lock my door. It feels like my legs stopped working, I'm paralyzed I can't make it to my bed. I slide down the door and just keep crying, I just keep having flashbacks to the accident. All I can see is them pulling my dad out of the car, my mom getting to the scene and trying to run to the car, bawling, my brother hugging her, the twins sitting in the back seat. I hear a million voices, my dads, my moms shaky breath from crying, my brother yelling, the twins, my best friend that night, the 911 operator, the paramedics.

      I fall asleep in front of my door, then I wake up to my mom beating on my door yelling my name. Crap therapy. "Katherine! Wake up right now!" I jump up off the floor "Mom I'm awake!" 

      "Then unlock the door!" She screams while moving my knob around. I unlock my door and she's standing there staring at me. She's in her work clothes, she's going back to work already? "I'm dropping you off at therapy on my way to work, the woman I'm taking you to is a wonderful woman and an amazing therapist." Guess that answers my question. "Okay, mom." I say and close my door. I walk to my vanity table and stare at my reflection.

      You know I haven't changed, in appearance, but for some reason staring at myself now feels like I'm staring at this girl that I feel nobody is gonna know. That I don't know. But I'm still gonna be the same girl in their eyes, just one who is suffering a great loss and a horrific experience.

      I stop staring at myself and walk over to my closet I grab a pair of jeans and a random t-shirt that says "thug life" on top of a floral square towards the top of the shirt. With a maroon back, I match my grey slouch beanie to my shirt and get dressed. I walk over to my full body mirror on my bathroom door and make sure my hair looks decent I put my beanie on, and fix that. By the time I'm done getting ready my mom's yelling that I'm gonna be late for my appointment. As if I even care.

      I run downstairs and my mom starts to walk out the door, I put my grey vans on and walk out the door. My mom is sitting in our driveway with the garage open honking her horn. She stops honking when she sees me, I walk over and hit the button to close the garage. I get in the car and we drive in complete silence, except for the quite radio that my mom had turned almost all the way. We get to the therapist's office and I get out of the car and tell my mom I love her then close the door.

      As I'm walking through the building looking for the front desk so I can find out where to go. I'm texting my best friend, Alec, when I run into some kid who is dressed full in black almost with a grey beanie on. He looks me up and down making me feel extremely uncomfortable as if he's examining me to make sure I'm good enough, believe me dude, I'm not. He eventually says "You don't look like a basket case."

      "Excuse me?" I retort with sounding a bit more offended than I was trying to.

"You're here for therapy right?"

"Yeah, so that automatically makes me a basket case?"

"Well that's--" I cut him off before he could finish that thought

"And what does a basket case generally look like, because I feel like they don't have a certain look. Now if you'll excuse me I'm trying to find Dr. Brooke so move."

"Yeah Dr. Brooke is my mom, want help finding her?"

      "I'd rather not, I think I'll manage." I say brushing his shoulder, well it was suppose to be his should but he's like 6"4 so it was his mid arm. So I brush his mid-arm while pushing him out of my way. He lets out a little laugh after I do so. "Two halls down then take a left and it's the second door on your left."

"Thought I made it clear, I don't want your help."

"Too late I already helped." I roll my eyes, but I still use his directions.

      I make it too his mom's office and stand outside the door for like 5 minutes before I open the door. And she looks up from her watch and says "Oh you must be Katherine."

"That's me."

She smiles at me "Come in have a seat."

                                                                         And so it begins....