Her Mistake.

Chapter 2: My fault.

     I hear my mom calling my name "Kat are you listening to me? Katherine?" It snaps me back to reality, I'm not still at the scene. I'm laying on my bed in a ball crying my eyes out. 

     I hate thinking about that night because it takes me back. I forget that it's over, I think that I'm still there. I know that I make it sound like it happened 20 years ago or something. But I've honestly thought of it so many times since last night.

      I can still hear my moms voice downstairs, she's saying something to my older brother about coming up here to check on me. I franticly wipe my cheeks. Trying to wipe all the tears away, and get my crying under control.

     I hear my brothers footstep, then a doorbell, and my moms footsteps. I roll over and pretend to be asleep as soon and I hear my brother approaching my room. "Kat come on, stop doing the same thing every time I come up here. Talk to me." I can hear his voice cracking, he was fighting the words to come out before he started crying.

     I still don't move, he's made me cry even more. I hear another crack in his voice as he's yelling at me "Kat do you think you're the only one who's dealing with this? You're not the only one dealing with dads death you know?"

     I roll over and get out of my bed. I have no idea what I'm doing, it's like I've lost all control of my body. It's like I physically know what I'm doing, but mentally I've checked out.

     Before I know it, I'm standing about 3 feet from my door, away from my brother. I look my brother in the eyes, not backing down. I'm yelling as loud as my voice will let me. It's not very loud, because I've got this enormous lump in my throat. And with every word my voice is cracking. "Yeah I know I'm not the only one dealing with dads death, Brandon," I have to stop to breath. I try to swallow my words, but it's more like I throw them up "but I'm the only one who killed him. And I don't think you're dealing with killing him."

     They leave a bitter taste in my mouth, and now I'm just standing there. Frozen. My mouth open, thinking what did I just say to my brother. Crying much harder than before, trying to think about what I just said.

     I go to say something to Brandon, but behind him I see my little brother and sister. They're 12 twins, they've both got tears rushing down their faces. And my mind has a million thoughts, but the one that sticks out like a sore thumb is: my youngest brother, Jason. He's never gonna know my dad and that's my fault. He's only 2, and he's already lost his dad.

     When I snap back from the thought, the twins are running down the stairs. And Brandon hasn't dropped his gaze from me. "I'm sorry" I say and run to my door. I go to run past him and he grabs my arm and says "It's not your fault, stop blaming yourself."

     We stand in my door way for a minute, before I say "Thanks, but I know it's my fault."

     He lets my arm go, and I run downstairs. I haven't been down here since last night when we got home. It's noon and my mom's sitting on the couch in her pajamas, looking like a wreck. Then it hits me, my dad was my mom's first and only boyfriend. I killed my dad, and my moms only love.

     I hate myself, looking at Jason, Aria and Nolan, my mom, and Brandon. I did this to all of them. It's my fault.