The Donor Handbook

So You've Been Selected to Be A Donor.

So you’ve been selected to be A Donor.



Tracy and Robbie had been wonderful to me in the months leading to my birthday. The day after the incident I went over for one of the most awkward dinners of my life. When I walked in everyone was silent. Tracy had answered the door, and I found Robbie, Vicky, and Dawn sitting on the couch all looking solemn. Vicky and Dawn couldn’t seem to look at me. Dawn looked like she had spent the day crying, and Vicky just looked ashamed.  Robbie was the only one that looked slightly apathetic. If he was human I would have been insulted, but Robbie was just being typical of an older vampire dealing with complications. Aloof and composed was the popular mask of an older upset vamp.

Tracy had been the first to break the silence. “Amy?” I looked at her, and she gave a reassuring smile along with a gentle caress on my back, “Would you like anything?”

I took a deep breath and sighed walking further into the room away from her reassuring hand. “I would like a lot of things Tracy, but for now I’ll settle for you guys to stop acting like you did anything wrong.” I had meant for that statement to be a little more light hearted than it came out. Like it was all alright, like I was alright.  Instead it came out more irritated and shrill.

Dawn was suddenly off the couch and hugging me. She was crying as she clung to me like I was about to bolt. She kept apologizing, and rambling on about what she felt she did wrong that night. She begged me to forgive her and wailed about how she couldn’t live without me as a friend. I just kept hugging her. I needed her too. I didn’t blame her; there was no way she would have known this would happen.  None of us could expect this.  I didn’t want Dawn to feel guilty for what happened to me. That kind of thing could destroy both of us.

“Dawn, calm down.” I whispered. She hugged me harder and rubbed her face into my shoulder. “It’s alright, I’m alive. I’m in one piece. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do this to me, Roger did.”Dawn pulled away from me nodding her head like she understood. She didn’t say anything, but gave me a small supportive smile that reminded me of Tracy.

 I saw Vicky stand out of the corner of my eye. She looked like she was on the verge of tears as she wringed her hands nervously. “I’m so sorry Amy.” She croaked out, shedding a few tears. “I should’ve pointed Roger out earlier. I should’ve checked in with you guys before walking off. Shit, I told you guys that we should check with each other. I never thought…” I cut Vicky off by hugging her to me.

“It’s okay.” I breathed out in her ear, before fighting to put more confidence in my voice. “Really Vick, it is.”

She hugged me back, and started to really cry. I found it funny that I was the only one besides Robbie, who wasn’t. It was probably because I felt that I should be strong for my friends. Or it was because I had run out of tears from crying the night before. My surrogate family obviously felt horrible, and I didn’t want to add to that guilt. Inside I was still a wreck. The only solace I had was that I knew that Roger could feel what I felt. And I hope he felt as sick, angry, and scared as I was.  Vicky told me everything that had happened that led to my situation while she hugged me.

Vicky had been chatting up an old friend in the bathroom on the second floor of Bell Free when I went looking for her. She was on her way to meet Roger (who’d been an on and off fling) when she answered natures call.  Only I had gotten there first, and the rest of the night had taken a downhill turn. She thought she’d been stood up when the bouncer for the VIP lounges turned her away, and went back to find Dawn and me. Dawn and her looked for me, and due to the confusion on which one was Vicky and which was me when they asked patrons for help, they started to get worried a little late. That was when Roger called and they stayed until after the club closed. When they got home Roger was there explaining what had really happened. He had lied to them because he didn’t want to upset Dawn’s night.