And Back

Chapter 2 (or, how Cerbe and Eris doom Cerberus and Kaipo is born)

Chapter 2 (or, how Cerbe and Eris doom Cerberus and Kaipo is born)

"Vamps? Why would we be vampires if we didn't make it inside?" Blaze asked, turning suddenly towards the looming black gates in front of them. Two men were standing at either door, pushing them closed ever slowly as a type of warning. They wore the same hooded cloaks as Blaze's Reaper.

"You know, vampires. The Undead," the Reaper stopped to see if Blaze was following. Blaze gestured for him to continue. "If a reaped soul doesn't make it inside Hell before the gates close, they stay between Death and Life, doomed to thirst for human blood and live the life of an outcast. Let's just hope that doesn't happen to you, which it won't if you hurry the Hell up, but if it did, that would suck for you."

Blaze had never hated puns more in his life, but, nonetheless, he trudged forward, eager to not become a vampire and to be judged in Hell. What a day this was. 

"So what am I going to be judged on? You know, to get to Heaven." Blaze asked, hoping it had nothing to do with underage drinking and drugs. Otherwise, he could stop holding on to hope altogether.

"Maybe you should focus more on getting in to Hell then focus on what to expect from Lucifer," the Reaper remarked, pulling Blaze forward slightly to make him match his pace. 

The deep, red dirt that covered the floor swirled in the air as Blaze fell forward, tripping because the Reaper's harsh movements. Of course this is how he had to enter Hell, falling and bewildered. He could have been confident that he would be judged right, or at least hiding the anxiety building in his chest with a sly smile and a calm walk, but no. He had to fall like an idiot.

"That hasn't happened in a while," said one of the guards between coughs, letting go of the gate to keel over and laugh.

"CERBE! DON'T LET GO OF THE GATE!" The Reaper all but screamed, rushing forward to make it past the entryway before they did actually become vampires. Of course, they did make it past, and right after their entry the second guard closed the gate.

A booming sound filled the cavernous room as the gates closed, as if sealing the deal of Blaze's death. There was no turning back now. 

"Lucifer, Cerbe. Can't you just take your job seriously for once? At least Eris does it right every time. It's been a millennia. Some would think you'd learn." The Reaper stated, clearly annoyed at Cerbe's insolence. Blaze would have thought his falling was funny, too, if he was part of it. "Blaze, honey, allow me to introduce Cerbe and Eris, the guardians of Hell."

"Where's the three headed dog? Cerberus? Isn't he supposed to guard Hell?" Blaze asked, genuinely confused as to why the dog wasn't there to scare the Hell out of him. Or into him. Whatever.

"Cerbe decided that he was sick of being slobbered on by the beautiful creature and stuck a dagger into all three of its cute skulls," the Reaper looked pointedly at Cerbe, probably mourning the terrifying creature at the moment. "You can thank the one who almost doomed us to the life of  outsiders later. In return, Lucifer gave Cerbe a partner named Eris to remind him of the creature he murdered. Yoou know, Cerbe-Eris, like Cerberus?"

Blaze decided at that moment he hated Hell. Of course, Blaze had decided that a little earlier, when he had died, but now he had more a concrete reason to hate the forsaken place. Who knew the Devil could make so many puns about death and Hell? Not Blaze.

"Thanks for nothing Cerbe," said the Reaper, throwing one last glare in the poor guard's direction. The started walking slowly to a light at the end of the cavern. "Anyways, allow me to fill you in. Hell is huge. There's a division of Hell under every continent, and you basically get sorted into a division wherever you die. You died in the States, welcome to the United States of Hell."