Exposed (#wattys2016)

chapter twenty-one

My eyes felt heavy as I groggily tossed in my bed. My sheets were hot and wet, soon realizing it was my own sweat. I frantically got out of the bed and pulled the sheets down, making sure I didn't piss myself. The imprint of my body showed on my sheets from my sweat. I tangled my pruned fingers in my hair, feeling the grease at the root of each strand.

I shockingly turned around to the door, which was wide open. Levi was staring at me with his mouth agape from the hallway. "Hale, what the hell man, you okay?"

My focus drifted from Levi to the picture hanging on the wall behind him. "Uh," I mumbled quietly, racking my brain, "nothing much."

Levi came closer to my door and I felt my heartbeat getting quicker. I looked around my room and stumbled back against my bed, my head foggy like the mist on the pavement after a summer rainstorm. "Please don't come for me, I need to go to bed now."

Levi came closer into my room, turning pale at my words. I clumsily fell back into my bed. I closed my eyes on my sheets again, but they were unpleasantly damp and cold.

"Hale, I think you need some help," Levi said from my bedside.

I shook my head and soon pretended I was asleep before I actually was.

"You're freakin me out," Levi exclaimed loudly as his voice trailed out of my room and down the hallway.

What's the big deal? I'm fine, I thought into the comforting darkness before my eyelids, drifting to sleep again.

The second time I woke up, Levi was hovering over my bed.

"What..." I mumbled quietly and turned around a few times in bed before sitting up.

"Hale, listen to me. Are you okay?" Levi spoke way too slowly, making me lose interest in whatever he wanted to say.

"Yeah, man, I'm alright!" I shook my hair around a bit and pushed the hot sheets off of my body, which was nothing but skin and boxers. I smiled at Levi, noticing Caspian in the doorway.

We made eye contact and my smile dropped a bit, but he came forward anyway.

"Listen, I should have stayed the other day instead of going back into that bar. Are you alright, dude? You've been asleep for four days," he said as he sat down next to me on the bed.

I moved away slightly even though I didn't mean to.

"Alright, I guess that answers that question," Caspian said as he impatiently pounded his fist against the bed, biting down onto his lip as he went back to the doorway. "Are you even gonna talk?" He stared at me with saddened eyes from a distance, and that's all I've ever seen in a while.

Levi got up and placed a hand on his shoulder and narrowed his eyes at him, causing Caspian to drop his head a bit and nod. Was he agreeing for once? I started picking at strings on my sheets.

"Are you even listening?" Levi asked me, lowering his head to get on my level once he came back to my side.

"What?" I tilted my head and looked at both Caspian and Levi, who had the same concerned look on their faces. "I'm going to take a shower."

Solemnly, I kicked myself out of the sheets and up from the bed, dismissing everyone in the room as I walked to take a shower. I could barely feel myself walking because it's been too long, I think a few days they said.

My legs hurts with each step. I could smell myself, the stench surrounding me as I stared at my face in the mirror.

The reality shook me awake as I looked at myself in the mirror. My skin was pale, small purple veins showing on my cheeks. Just above that, dark circles and bags were piled up under my eyes. I could barely hold them open, so squinting sufficed.

My hair was greasy and sticking up in all sorts of directions, almost like a porcupine. I had stubble growing around my jawline and chin, extending onto my neck.

"Shit," I groaned at myself in the mirror. My face felt sticky when I touched it.

I turned on the water in the shower, fascinated at how uniform it fell onto the tile. I watched each linear stream pour out from the tiny hole in the shower head to the dirty tiled floor, repeating the process a few times before actually stepping inside.

The warm water poured over my body and I leaned my head against the tile, wiping the clean water over my greasy face. I winced at the feeling of it against my back, adjusting the temperature slightly warmer. It still hurt, actually even more than before, so I stepped out of the shower and curled up on the bathroom floor.

"FUCK!" I exclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear me. I was so weak it felt better lying down.
The water spread around me, leaving me in a dirty puddle of my own filth next to the bathtub.

Caspian barged through the door and widened his eyes when he saw me, quickly slamming the door shut. Steam from my shower escaped through the door which sent cold chills down my vulnerable body.

"Hey, hey, hey," Caspian said as he lifted me up so I was sitting against the sink cabinet. "Come on, you can shower, right?" He was crouched down in front of me now.

I nodded.

"Well, let's go," he stood up and clapped his hands together, "chop chop, it's bath time."

I glared up at him with no amusement, steadying myself to stand up. Caspian helped me by pulling my arms up. He took his shirt off and I just looked at him, trying to get words out of my mouth.

"Listen, I'm gonna come in there with you and make sure you're okay and you wash up alright. Your whole family is worried."

He tried to nudge me towards the shower and he pushed off the remainder of his clothes while doing it until he was completely naked except for his boxers.

I turned around and looked at him, "Are you worried?"

He shook his head quickly, tossing his sweatpants next to the toilet. "Hell yeah, I'm worried about you."

He came closer and guided me into the shower, directly under the water. He stood in front of me, out of the water, waiting for me to do something, but I didn't.

"Come on, take your shower," he nodded towards the water that I was already underneath.

"Nah," I said quietly while moving out of the water, wrapping my arms around his waist. He kissed my forehead then splashed some water on his face.

"I'm begging you, you're filthy, no offense though," he smirked and gently nudged me towards the water again.

I detached my arms and nodded at his comment, grabbing a washcloth and soap.

Everything was fuzzy but I showered anyway because I knew I had Caspian back for good.