She Won't Judge

Friends With Benefits

Question : I'm having this problem with a guy I'm friends with. During last year when I was new at school I had met him and we became good friends. We started a friends with benefits relationship with each other and it was going well, but lately I've been having feelings for him but I'm too scared to tell him that because he may not like me the same way. How do I tell him this without feeling awkward or getting crushed by my crush? Thanks in advance.

Shelli's Advice : Oi, no offence, but this is why friends with benefits just doesn't work because someone always ends up gaining feelings for the other.

Now, I would take how he acts afterward. I don't know how far you guys go, but I'll just assume you guys are having sex (HOPEFULLY PROTECTED!!!). Does he cuddle with you after or does he like lay there for a couple of minute regaining composure then leaving because he has something else to do? And what are the circumstances to it leading to sex? Does he call you and you come over, bada bing bada boom then you leave or do you guys hang out and it just sort of happens?

These are the kind of things you need to take into consideration before you start to let yourself have feelings for him. Now, if he's the booty call asshole then I would just drop the whole relationship because he is sadly using your feelings against you or just taking it because you're willing to give it. Maybe he is an misunderstood asshole and sucks with feelings? Either way, I would try to NOT do stuff with him and just hang out. If he actually enjoys your company without it leading to him getting laid then there might be some feelings there, but they could also just be friendly feelings. What does he do when you guys are walking next to each other? Does him arm brush against your arm "accidentally" or does he keep a safe distance just like he does with guy friends? Which is another thing, see how he acts around other girls then compare it to how he acts around you. That would help out a lot because he treats you like he does any other girl he hangs out with, he might just be in it to have fun nothing serious.

Now for the more happier way it could go. Afterward if he cuddles, or kisses you and acts like a boyfriend, but then once out of the moment he just acts like a friend there is more than likely feelings there. Maybe he is just scared to loose you and doesn't want to ruin being with you so he takes what he thinks you are only willing to give at that moment. Usually a guy with feelings for a girl would do this if she has said some things about a shitty ex, or that they aren't over one, or that you aren't looking for anything serious. And how do YOU act afterward? Do you distance yourself away from him because you think that is what he wants? Because if you do then he might be reading it as you not wanting an actual relationship and that you're the one that doesn't want to get emotionally involved. BUT I still would hang out with him without it leading to anything and see how it goes.

I hope this helps and please other readers post your stories about friends with benefits. Did it work out or completely blow up in your face and how are things now?