Something Fishy

Chapter 16: Canoe Ride from Hell

     When I reached the edge of the floodwaters, I climbed out the water and stood and clambered up the hill to the factory entrance, pushing the door open. A rush of water carried me into the door, and it took a lot of effort for me to close it behind me. When at last the doorknob clicked shut and I was safely inside, I turned purposefully to commence with my rescue, and found myself face-to-face with Basil.

"Basil," I said, good-naturedly. We hadn't exactly ended on the best of terms – me locked in a cat carrier, him the one who locked me in said cat carrier – but I was willing to let bygones be bygones. "I'm here to rescue my friends."

Basil stared at me, unmoving.

"...if that's cool with you?" I added.

It was not cool with Basil.

"You cannot rescue your friends," he said. "I am under command to keep them here at all costs."

"Seriously, man?" I said.

"Seriously, child," he said. "And I am not a man. I am a machine."

"Is there any way I can, like, bypass that 'guard the prisoners' command?"

I expected a firm "no" in response, but to my surprise, he hesitated.

"There is one way," he said. "It was installed as a way to override my orders, should the Boss need to."

"I'm listening," I said.

"I never doubted that," said Basil. "Essentially, someone must challenge me to a game. The person and I compete for a number of rounds. At the end, if I have won most the rounds, that person will be imprisoned. Should they – should you – win all the rounds, you get to rescue your friends."

I swallowed. "So what game is it?"

"Rock, paper, scissors," said the Boss.

My heart soared. "All right, let's get started, then," I said.

I must have come across as a little too enthusiastic, because Basil began to explain further. "The catch is, all my moves are all preprogrammed, and the Boss memorized the correct sequences of moves needed to beat me every time, but you don't know that sequence. Maybe it's written down somewhere and you could find it –"

"There'll be no need for that," I said, smiling. "So, how many rounds do we play?"

"Five hundred," said Basil.

"Well, we better hurry." I punched my right fist into my left palm. "Rock, paper –"

" – scissors," I finished, snipping at Basil's flattened hand with my fingers. By this point I had dried off, only to become damp again, this time with perspiration. "How many times was that?"

Basil stared down at his hand in disbelief.

"Five hundred," said Basil.

"Sweet, so I'm going to go find my friends now –"

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Win five hundred consecutive rounds of rock, paper, scissors. Do you have any idea how statistically improbable –"

"I don't care about the math! Take me to my friends, now!"

A strange look crossed Basil's face. "Yes, Boss," he said.