Something Fishy

Chapter 10: The REAL Smitten Kitten Cannery and Manufacturing Plant Tour

“Watch your head,” said Prudence as we passed below some rather intimidating-looking machinery. “Now, to your right, you can see what appears to be a cat food can on a ledge, but is in fact part of an elaborate motion detection laser security system that can be activated with a click of a button.” She waved her book-camera-video-thingie about gleefully.

     “You do realize we are in a bit of a hurry?” I ventured tentatively. This woman was seriously strange – one moment she had seemed upset, the next, she was giving us a tour as though we had all the time in the world.

      “Of course you are, dear,” said Prudence. “Follow me.” She pulled out an enormous keychain and selected a key.

      “I’ve been following you for the past half an hour,” I mumbled to myself.

     “What’s that?”

      “Nothing.”

      Prudence jammed the key into a lock on a door. “Come along,” she said. She winked at us. “This room was always Ron’s favorite when he was little.”

      We stepped through the doorway.

       “Wow,” I said.

      “You like it?” said Prudence.

       “This is really cool,” said Uncle Fry.

        It was as though we had stepped into an aquarium. We were now walking through a wide glass tunnel. Above, below, and to either side, massive schools of fish drifted about, opening and closing their mouths at us.

       “This is the halibut storage unit,” said Prudence. “We keep them segregated by species. To avoid cross-contamination, you know. Some cats have allergies to one or the other. Did you know that the Smitten Kitten only makes fish flavored cat food?”

      “Fish flavored…” I suddenly felt a bit sick. These fish weren’t just here for us to look at. They were here for one purpose and one purpose only. How could Ron bear to be in here, surrounded by creatures doomed to an unpleasant fate by none other than his own father?

      And yet – there was something undeniably peaceful about this place. The fish certainly didn’t seem to care what was happening. But then, they probably didn’t know…

     “Come on!” Uncle Fry called to me. I realized that I had stopped walking and was staring upwards at the happy-go-lucky halibut.

     “Coming,” I said quickly, and hurried to catch up.

      “Keep moving.” Prudence ushered me into what appeared to be a giant, dusty, dumbwaiter. “This is the supply elevator, which is used to transport things like extra factory parts and such up from the underground warehouse. Did you know that the underground warehouse is the size of a city block and extends half a mile underground?”

      “And why exactly are we going into the underground warehouse?” asked Uncle Fry. He was sounding exasperated. “I mean, I am sure you know what you’re doing, but -”

      “But the only way into the tunnel networks is through the underground warehouse!” Prudence was starting to sound rather exasperated herself now. “Honestly, Al, you are rather dense for a paranoid genius, aren’t you?”

      “I’m not a genius; I missed the cut-off by seven IQ points,” sniffed Uncle Fry. It was something he was clearly still bitter about.

      “Personally, I think IQ tests are overrated,” said Prudence. “So that’s alright.”

      Uncle Fry just ‘hmph’ed and folded his arms across his chest.