Blank Canvas ( A Kate Beckett story)

I'm Sorry

The doctors began to look at each other in doubt, they were about to give up, his heart just would not restart.

"Don't you dare let him die" I roared as I rose from the floor and back up onto my feet

There was only one other option, hit his heart with a shot of adrenaline.

One of the doctors picked up a long syringe and filled it a clear liquid that was set aside in a small glass bottle. He walked towards James and in one swift movement he jabbed the syringe into James' chest and released pure adrenaline into James' bloodstream. His eyes flew open as his torso lifted from the bed. The doctors gently pressed him back down onto the sheets as he gasped breathlessly. It worked. He's alive.

I fell into Lanie's arms and sighed in utter relief.

"He's ok now" Lanie whispered supportively "everything is ok"

They soon stabilised James and he fell asleep after what his body was just put through.

"Maybe come back a little later ladies, he's pretty beat after that ordeal, he's not going to wake up any time soon" The nurse said gently as she left the sealed compartment where James lay

"Thank you" I smiled at the nurse

Lanie and I turned to leave when a frail voice spoke from the back of the room, I could barely hear the whisper, but it was enough

"I need to see her" James struggled to get the words out

I stopped at the door and turned back to face the back of the room. The nurse beckoned me forward.

"I'll give you both some time, I'll see you later ok?" Lanie said gently as she reached for the door

I nodded and gave her a reassuring smile as I turned my back to her and made my way towards the nurse.

"I thought he was asleep Detective, but he really wants to see you" the nurse said as she handed me protective gear "I'm going to need you to put these on, the doctors are still unsure at the level of toxins that are still being released into the air from him."

"Thank you" I said as I slipped into the protective bodysuit and mask. I followed the nurse to the plastic seal and then entered in after her. I walked hesitantly towards James as he slowly opened his eyes and looked directly at me

"Hi" I whispered

"Hi" he whispered back weakly

"How are you?" I asked stupidly

"Never felt better" he said back with a frail tone but a grin beginning to form at the corner of his mouth

I walked a little faster towards him now and when I reached his bed I wrapped my arms around him gently and he embraced my hug

"Hope I didn't worry you too much" he looked at me jokingly as I stood back up

"Don't you dare pull a stunt like that again" I mumbled protectively

"I'm sorry" he said genuinely apologetic as he pouted his bottom lip

I gave a small laugh and saw his mouth lift into a full blown smile this time

"I'm going to let you rest now ok? I'll be back to see how you're doing tomorrow" I said softly as I placed my hand on his arm "Don't do anything stupid"

"Yes ma'am" he replied jokingly "I'll see you tomorrow" he smiled

I turned my back to him and walked out of the enclosed space. I removed my protective gear and made my way out of the hospital. I sat into my car in the underground parking lot and my phone began to ring. I quickly checked the caller ID before answering.

"Hey Dad" I cheered up now hearing Hotch's voice

"Hey sweetheart, how are things? I heard James is sick?" He said with concern

"Everything's fine Dad, we just had a bit of a scare. There was a potential Anthrax attack James and I intercepted but James got infected and he's being kept in solitary at St Vincent's" I began telling him the woes of today

"God! Will he be ok?" Hotch sounded worried

I don't know what it was, if it was the rollercoaster of today catching up on me or was I just super tired or what, I don't know but all of a sudden I couldn't control the sobs

"I almost lost him Aaron" I began to sob into the phone "He almost died on the bed in front of me and there was nothing I could"

"Hey Kate, shhh, hey its ok, he's ok now! He's in good hands, he's going to be alright, you need to go home and rest" Aaron replied, his voice strained in pain at hearing my anguish

I wiped my eyes and sat up straight against the chair. I took a deep breath before I started to speak again

"You're right, I'm being silly, I'm sorry" I apologised realising how weak I sounded

"Kate there is no reason to apologise, today was tough on you and it's not easy watching someone you care about go through that kind of ordeal, just go home and get some rest sweetie" he comforted me as best he could

"Thanks Dad, I'll call around tomorrow ok?" I said, feeling a little better now

"I'll see you then" he replied with happiness in his tone

"Bye Dad" I smiled

"Bye Kiddo, drive safe ok"

"Love you" I whispered before hanging up the phone, he always knew how to make everything better

I scoffed at myself. I'm a grown woman and I still need my father to make things better.