Condemned

Chapter 3: Jax

I see the world from a different perspective now. The way I use to view the world, it was all happy go-lucky, colorful. Now it’s a beautiful, blissful black and white. I now know how the world actually works, our system. The system is flawed in many ways, but yet we can’t seem to fix those flaws. Everyone of us, live our days just like the system would like us to, living our so called “American Dream”. What’s so special about this place? Why does everyone want to come here? We’re not “free”. We live accordingly to the system. So many poor souls do not realize it, that they’re not actually “free”. Their oblivious to what’s going on around them, why aren’t they opening their eyes?! Damnit, it kills me to know that their slaves to the system. It only took me one year to open my eyes, to figure out how the system works.

I was blinded. Blinded for a year of my life, my sophomore year in high school. Blinded by one of the most dangerous weapons ever known to mankind and all of its existence, love. I thought at the time I found the one and only girl i’ll spend my life with, the one i’ll love and one day marry. Was I ever so wrong about that. She was the type of girl who would try to prove you wrong, even if she was the one who was wrong. The type of girl to put you through enough shit to not make you happy, and she would continue to do so for months and months. It makes me wonder, was I ever happy? I questioned myself for months, but yet that question was always pushed to the side because this so called “love” blinded me. It blinded me from making all the right decisions. I started losing friends, and it almost costed me my two brothers Jasper and Dante. I almost lost the two dearest people I hold close to me. I had already lost my best friend Bridget, that really fucked me up but I couldn’t lose these two. I started to act weird as Jasper and Dante would tell me. God she was changing me, why the hell was she doing this?! She was controlling me. I was blinded by love, and there was nothing I could do to save myself. She took advantage of it. Fast forward to the day she ended things with me. The morning of that day she was pissy, kept annoying me with messages asking me where i’m  at when I told her literally a dozen times i’m walking up to the school. I came to the front of the school, she throws a sweet tea bottle at me. I went up with her to her locker, where she knocked my binder out of my hands and started to curse me out. I picked up my binder, she still proceeded to curse at me. Then I tossed my binder to the bottom locker because I was done with it. Later on that day she told people I hit her and she broke up with me. It fucked me up for a couple of months, up until the beginning of my junior year because I was still blinded by love. But then, something amazing happened this one day many months after the break up. I realized that my eyes were open, I wasn’t blinded by love anymore. That curse has gone away. I am finally free.

We just can’t refuse to work for the system. They control the legislation and will throw anyone into jail cells they see as threats. They throw people like myself into institutions and label us as “insane”. But aren’t they the ones who are insane? People like me, we know the truth. The media plays a huge role in the system, brainwashing the general public. The public thinks we live in a society where we just do whatever we please and believe we can be the person we want to be, that one person we've been dreaming to be since childhood. What they didn’t know, is that they’ll be working for the system without even realizing it. They believed they have achieved their dreams in becoming the person they always wanted to be. No, they're the person the system wanted them to be. Propaganda leaves them blinded. Fucking Sensationalism. God I hate the system.

6:25 on a thursday afternoon, and I have nothing else better to do then to just sit here filling out applications for college. What a bore, i’m going to be doing this all weekend. I get a call from Jasper about 10 minutes later. “Hello?”

“Hey Jax! I’m doing a little get together party whatever here at my place tomorrow, show up.”

“you told me yester-”

“Tomorrow afternoon, don’t miss out! I’m reminding you, you forget alot. I’ll send you a text the time you have to show up”

“but you-”

He hangs up quickly. Seems like he was in a hurry, probably picking up things for tomorrow’s party.  I have nothing else better to do than to just fill out applications all day, so I sent him a text saying i’ll be there. Funny thing is he called me wednesday morning and told me this, must’ve thought I forgotten. I texted my other brother Dante to let me borrow a game from him, out of me Dante and Jasper I was the only one not working. I Freeload off of his games a lot, what could I say. He said he’ll bring it tomorrow at the party. I’ll  at least enjoy wasting my time all weekend playing video games instead of just sitting there. Man, it’s only been a couple of days since we all have graduated high school but I sure as hell miss it. It gave me something to do all day, and I saw my friends everyday. I’ll enjoy being with my bro’s tomorrow, it’ll be fun like the times back when we use to stay at Jasper’s moms house. I wonder who else is he going to invite to the party. More importantly, is there going to be any chinese food. I should probably stop here, it’s getting really late. Playing video games really passes the time, it’s now 4:42 am.