Condemned

Chapter 4: Damien

Here we are now. After graduation in an endless cycle of loneliness and depression. Honestly this is starting to make me miss high school. You see all of my life my parents have been trying to plant a seed in me. A seed that they referred to as freedom. They have always told me that they would never decide my future for me. I liked that, there was only one problem. Ya see the thing is that all of my family is extremely successful. They have all done something great with their lives. Then there's me, the "genius". I graduated high school 3 days ago at the age of 16. I could have graduated top of my class but my depression and laziness got the better of me. I try to not get close to anyone. I'm afraid of pain. Everything I do ranging from my self righteousness to my sarcasm I do to try to mask my emotions. I've been told many times that I am emotionless. It's true, I come off as such but if experience has taught me anything is that you can't show your true emotions to someone without being judged. I used to have one person I could share anything with. He was more than a brother to me. I looked up to him. Sad thing is that we grew apart. He lived too far away. Music has always been my escape. It helps me think and get away from reality. Unlike the others, I've never truly been in love. I've had relationships but for some reason I can never see myself getting close enough to them to the point in which I love them. I can't love. I'm too afraid of pain. I share a lot of my ideals with Dante. The concept of a god disgusts me, the system annoys me. Personally emotions, weaken me. You see I'm the gamer of the group. I can safely say that I'm the one they look to when they need some info on videogames, comics or tv shows. I'm like that cool nerd you'll never meet. Yeah I'm that special, only one of me. There it goes again. More self righteousness. It's like a constant struggle in my head. You see i never really had a childhood as I was forced to study a whole lot. That left me broken and without many strong memories binding me to my past. My home country. I have many struggles going on in my head. This is simply one of them. I really don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I can never imagine a future with me in it. I always imagine me in a coffin with no one showing up to my funeral. I know we all die alone in some way, and that scares me. I try so hard to not let it get to me but honestly, I haven't been able to fight those thoughts anymore. The loneliness pains me.

I got a call 2 days ago from jasper. I was invited to get together. I love it. I miss my friends. I need to ask jasper and Celeste for a favor anyways so it's good I'm coming over. "Fuck it's already 3pm?" I say with a confused look on my face. " goddammit, I just woke up too!" Ok untilt yourself Damien. I quickly get out of bed and rush to brush my teeth. I decide to sit and watch anime before I go over to Jaspers.

45 minutes before the party

It's time. I get up and rush to the bathroom where I take one of the quickest showers I've ever taken. I put on pants, then a shirt, sneakers and my beanie. "I'm ready!" I say giggling at the thought of spongebob. I quickly ask my mom for a ride and we set off.

~15 minutes before the party~

I'm here early it seems. I knock once. No answer. Second time. Third time. The door opens and I'm greeted with a genuine smile.

"Hey!" Says jasper with a smile on his face, simultaneously giving me a handshake.

"How's it going?" I reply.

"Great man, why don't you come in"

I start to think of a sarcastic reply but before I reply I get dragged in. Once inside it seems that I'm the first one here. Apart from Celeste and Jasper that is. Obviously, they live here. Silly me. Anyways I walk over to fridge, grab a beer and sit down next to Celeste and jasper on the couch. I look at jasper and say,

"hey man, Is it cool if I crash here for awhile?" I cringe at how bummy I sounded.

"See college is like 30 minutes away from my house and since you guys live really close to campus I thought it be fine If I used the spare room?"

I see Celeste look at Jasper. "We'll let you know before school starts again. Cool?" Says Celeste with an evil smirk on her face.

We hear a knock at the door. No one gets up. How could Jasper or Celeste hear the door. They are always kissing and flirting. I sigh loudly and get up and walk towards the door skipping over the pizza box on the floor. I open it to see Dante air jerking his dick with a smile on his face. He acts like he finishes on my shirt, I Ignore it. Behind him I see Jax hovering over Justin and his DS. All the way behind them I see Andrew running up the steps.

"Sup guys" I say.

Motioning them to come in with my hands. Dante quickly runs and lays on top of Celeste and Jasper. Jax does the same thing I did and walks over to the fridge to grab a beer. He takes my spot on the couch. Andrew goes straight for the food on the table. Typical. "hungry Andrew" I say with a smirk on my face. Ya see Andrew isn't the most privileged person. His family struggles. So what's better than to tease him for it. I hear a laugh coming from Celeste, chuckle from Justin and I can tell the rest didn't hear me. We hear another knock at the door. Who could it be this time. "Coming!" Says Celeste jumping from her comfortable spot next to Jasper. She opens the door and is greeted by her 3 best friends. Andrea, an up and coming Writer. Aviana a short, but very ferocious girl. Then Skylar. Don't know enough about her to make a satirical joke. Anyways they all come in and sit in the kitchen next to an almost drunk Andrew. "What happened?" I say with distress in my voice. "I turned around for one second and he's already drunk!" I sigh loudly and begin to ignore Andrew. We start to converse about non important things and begin to try to imagine our futures. Out of nowhere Jasper grabs a 12 pack of beer and hands us one each and . Except for Andrew. He's drunk enough. Jasper takes the last two in the pack and chugs them. We all start to drink. 4 beers later and stupid ideas start to surface.

"Jasper should jump from the balcony to the pool!" Says Celeste with a funny look on her face.

"No balls!" Says Dante with a serious look.

"Oh you daring me?!"

Jasper stumbles his way to the balcony and gets up on the railing. I wasn't worried. We are only on the second floor and the pool was awfully close. There's no way he could miss it. He jumps and celebrates after swiftly being able to make it in. Swift for a drunk at least. I start to walk out of the balcony when I see Dante start coming towards me. He grabs and with Jax help pulls me up and sends me tumbling towards the pool. I only got to say one word before I was thrown. "Fuck."