Condemned

Chapter 9: Justin

I did it, no more empty fucking threats. No one sees it how I do. It Was his goddamn idea, that's why Celeste is dead and now he's gonna die right along with her. Besides this is payback for all of his bullshit I had to deal with over the years.

"You crazy bastard!!!" Jasper yelled suddenly as he punched me clean in the face.

He tackled me to the ground and began to wail on me. I just took it I'm gonna end him next. Soon enough this worthless scumbag will die. Dante and Andrew broke it up quickly though, I felt my face. Shit a bloody nose he'll pay for this. I also have a small bruise under my left eye. Dante and Jax went to check on bitchass Damien while Andrew went to cool Jasper off. I go across the cabin and take a seat on a small stool. I can't believe Jasper. Why did he have to hit me I'm sure he's as fucked up over Celeste's death as I am. Why doesn't he blame Damien for having the retarded idea that got her killed. Now that I think about it Jasper is equally at fault for her death as Damien was because he went along with it. They both should die for all I care it's their fault for doing that stupid stunt in the first place. I guess in a way I'm at fault too because I knew this was a dumb idea from the beginning yet I went along with it too and never opened my mouth about it. In the end I did what I always do stay quiet never speak my mind when I have the opportunity to do so. I just go with the fucking flow. GOD WE ARE ALL SUCH IDIOTS. I hate my adventurous spirit it's mostly the reason why I never said anything in the first place. Now I have yet another horrible memory in this terrible piece of shit life of mine it makes me wonder why after all this time I still haven't ended it myself. See I beat myself up a lot. I actually really hate myself because I'm both the personification and embodiment of every last thing I hate I really am. I purposely punish myself just for keeping my scumbag ass alive. Why didn't I at least try to defend myself when Jasper started beating me up? I'm in part the reason Celeste died so I took it as punishment. I hear Dante tossing things around probably looking for something to patch up Damien. Heh what he doesn't know is that there was medical supplies in the cabin but I took the med kit out into the woods and hid it before I stabbed Damien there's not hope for him. Dante gave up and grabbed a bottle of vodka in place of alcohol and some rags in place of bandages I have to give it to him that's pretty clever. So Damien is not completely out of the picture yet he will be soon enough. I hear Jax barking orders at Dante and then hear Damien scream in complete agony. After that Jax walks over to me I'm guessing to find out what's going on in my head. I'm actually going insane I don't think I have complete control of my actions but I don't want Jax to find out so I'm going to have to make up some sort of lie.

"Justin, what in the hell got into you? You almost killed Damien for something he didn't even do. We're going to have to keep him alive on our own! Do you know how hard it's gonna be to treat that?" Jax said. Here comes my lie...

"I'm sorry Jax my ADHD-" I begin

"You can't just use that excuse . You almost killed him for letting your emotions get the best of you." He said cutting me off. Him, saying that made me snap instantly.

"Yeah yeah whatever" I say angrily.

"This isn't something you could just shrug off! Control yourself, and learn some fucking respect. I'm the only friend you have here, you don't want to burn my bridge down too. Talking to me like that won't do you any good." He yells at me. After that he stormed off in frustration. I don't even know why he's frustrated he shouldn't be. He of all people should know just how far gone I am mentally what the hell is wrong with him I couldn't handle it I just snapped again.

"I thought you were my best friend Jax! Why are you taking care of Damien the bastard deserves to die here! He killed Celeste! FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!" I yell at Jax.