It was late at night. We had been on the road the whole day and would be in New York tomorrow. I sat in my bunk and watched Sons Of Anarchy on my computer when Jimmy jumped into the bunk, going to bed.
"Hi", I said.
"Hey", he said and closed his eyes.
I had been thinking about what Myra had said to me last night the whole day. Was I really hurting Jimmy? Was I pushing him away? I didn't want that. Not at all. I loved him. I'd never loved any man as much as I loved him.
"Jimmy", I said.
"Mmh?" he said without opening his eyes.
"Jimmy", I said again, wanting a bigger reaction from him than he gave me.
"What is it Rhaea?" he asked and looked at me now.
"I'm sorry", I said and for some reason, a tear fell down my cheek. "I'm sorry Jimmy."
"Oh Rhaea", he said, sat up and hugged me. "It's okay."
"I don't know what's happening to me. I don't wanna live like this anymore", I said, the tears still falling.
"You don't have to. We can solve this Rhaea", he said.
"Can we really?" I asked. "How am I supposed to fix it if I don't even know what's wrong with me."
"Well maybe you should talk to someone about that, someone professional."
"What?"
What was he talking about? Why should I talk to someone? They wouldn't understand. No one could.
"Or maybe not. I don't know Rhaea. I don't know what to do either", he said.
"I miss you", was all I could say. "I just want anything to be back to normal and I promise, I'll try because that is all I want. I want us to be back to normal. I want you back."
"I've always been here Rhaea", he said and kissed me.
"I love you Jimmy."
"I love you too", he said and kissed me again.
I woke up the next morning feeling the same as I did every other morning, not wanting to go out from bed at all, not wanting to face the world but I had promised Jimmy that I was at least going to try and I was going to keep my promise.
Jimmy wasn't laying next to me. I looked at my phone to see what was the clock was, 07:15 am. Why the hell would he be awake right now?
I jumped down from the bunk and went out to the living room to see if he was there. I found him in the very front of the bus, behind the wheel.
"Since when do you drive the bus?" I asked and sat down in the chair next to him.
"We all take our turns on driving", he said. "How are you today?"
"I'm… I'm good", I lied and smiled.
"You're a terrible liar but I appreciate that you try", he smiled.
"I'm not bad at that!" I protested.
"Yes you are babe", he said.
"So where are we on our way?" I asked.
"New York", he said.
"Nice."
We went on for about an hour until we arrived to the venue. Jimmy parked the bus outside the venue and we then went to the living room and sat down at the table where Zacky and Johnny sat, both with a cup of coffee in their hands.
"Hey Rhaea", Zacky said a little surprised.
"Morning", I said and acted like nothing.
"Rhaea do you want coffee?" Jimmy asked when he stood by the coffeemaker and got a cup for himself.
"Uhm sure", I said.
We sat there and talked a little, or the guys talked and I just sat there, for a while when Myra started to yell from the bunk area "Guys! Rhaea is gone! She's not here!"
"She's here Myra", Jimmy said and laughed a little.
"Holy crap I almost got a heart attack", she said and walked out from the bunk area.
"Overreacting much?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.
"Just a little", she smiled.
"YOU'RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING MYRA!" Brian yelled with a tired voice from his bunk.
"And I'm the one who have to live with her forever", Matt mumbled from his bunk.
"I don't see any ring on my finger so it's not forever yet you know", Myra said to Matt.
She was always nagging about that Matt should propose to her. The more she wanted him to, the longer it probably would take until he finally did it.
"Yeah yeah…", Matt said.
Soon there were heard snores from both Brian and Matt again which made us all laugh a little.
"They're so cranky in the morning", Myra said and sat down next to Zacky.
I had no idea how Johnny, Zacky and Myra could all room in that little sofa but somehow they managed.
"You are extremely annoying in the mornings though", Johnny said.
"I am not!" she protested.
"You are", all three of us said.
"You guys sucks", she muttered.
"Let's head out and see the town a little!" Jimmy said.
"Sure", the guys and Myra said.
I did not want that at all but had no choice since I'd promised Jimmy. I sighed and went to my bunk to get ready.
