Outside your comfort zone

Rumors are a girl's worst enemy

Tuesday morning. Zoe wakes up shaken up. What was that dream with the pale, scary doll staring at her? She felt suffocated and woke up sweating. This was one of the worst nights of sleep she's ever gotten. It felt like she spent the entire night fighting off demons. Her nightmare was strangely calm in comparison to the suffering she felt. A Russian doll from the 18th century with missing eyeballs staring at her, like she didn't need eyesight to see through her. No matter what Zoe did, her face was always there.

"Whatever, it's only a nightmare". Zoe puts her hair in a ponytail, ties her lace boots, and off she goes to school. Another day in the jungle.

As she approaches the main building, she notices more commotion than usual. Typically when all the girls are gathered like this, it is because Alexandra has yet another story to tell. 

Alexandra Beauregard. It's not that she is the "most popular" girl in the school in the classic sense. Being that it is such a small school, there aren't really cliques. It's just that she is what everyone would hope to be at that stage in their life. It's not only Zoe and her classmates who feel that way about her; Zoe suspects that her mother also looks at Alexandra with some admiration. Yes, "admired" - that is what Alexandra Beauregard is. She is the girl whose name you say in full when you refer to her . Even though everyone knows when one is talking about *the* Alexandra, it somehow seems necessary to add "Beauregard" to the sentence, like she's more than just an "Alexandra". She is Alexandra Beauregard. Her skin is spotless - something you see out of a magazine. Eternally sun-kissed, like by some miracle of nature she is not subject to winter pale, she sports the perfect almond-shaped, hazelnut-colored eyes with full lips that are never covered in makeup, because they don't need to be.  Most girls in Zoe's class have acne and share tips on how to get rid of it; makeup being like the god-sent mask that they can wear to school and use to disguise their most-hated flaws. Alexandra can't relate to that. She is not a mean girl - on the contrary, she is kind and affectionate, a pleasure to be around. It's just that she is painfully perfect. Fit and sporty, she excels at all sports and physical challenges. She is also a good student, though not the best. Her hair is long and silky, almost like her legs. It stays in place, uncovering her unpierced ears and pretty eyebrows.

But Alexandra isn't part of this crowd. She isn't telling one of her usual stories about how her boyfriend surprised her with flowers, or a new silver necklace. Alexandra has been dating the same guy, a student in a nearby all-boys school, for the last year. They are steady with no drama and no complaints, proving that the myth that Alexandra Beauregard has it all is in fact an actual truth. No, the topic of conversation on this crisp Tuesday morning is not Alexandra's wonderful love life. It is the field trip, and the girls are excited. "I already know how to ride a horse, so this is going to be such a breeze! And finally, some time away from my parents!" shouts Stephanie. Everyone nods in agreement.

Zoe finds Eloise and Amandine in the crowd. "I hate that this is going to be the topic of conversation for the next three weeks. I wish we could just forget about it," says Zoe to her friends as they walk away from the animated bunch. Suddenly, a shadow appears behind them. It's a blond girl, one that they are sure they have never seen before. Her skin is pale and delicate, almost like a pearl. Her eyes are icy, a grayish blue color. She is achingly beautiful... Beautiful and empty. She looks like she is not all there. She may be gracing you with her presence, but her attention is missing. Her mind, her thoughts, everything is elsewhere. Zoe is suddenly reminded of the doll in her nightmare, but quickly shakes it off. Isn't it annoying when nightmares follow you?

 "They don't know what they are in for," the girl says. She moves in an ethereal way, lighting up a cigarette and blowing the smoke in front of Amandine. The girls can't help but stare at her. There is something gripping about her remoteness. She is wearing a baby blue cashmere turtleneck, ripped denim jeans, and flip-flops. Zoe notes the oddness of it: while it is March, it has been an exceptionally cold month this year, certainly not weather suitable for open-toed shoes. The girl must know it, as she discreetly shivers. "Sometimes, things just aren't what they seem to be", she adds. "What are you talking about?" asks Eloise, rather apprehensively. The blond girl inhales her cigarette deeply. She looks a bit older than everyone else, perhaps like a ninth or tenth grader. "What's your name?", Zoe asks. "I know people who have gone on the same field trip before", continues the girl, "and they've never returned." Zoe, Amandine and Eloise look at each other slightly puzzled, not knowing whether they are in the presence of a slightly insane attention-seeker, or someone incredibly wise. "They used to do this trip to Normandy every year, for the ninth graders. It was like a thing. Like, you made it to ninth grade, congratulations. Now you go away with all your friends to these woods for like, two weeks or something. And it's supposed to be fun, and your first real time away from your parents, and it's a break from class. But then they stopped. In 1997, they stopped doing it." The mysterious girl throws her cigarette on the ground and steps on it with her flip flop. "I have to go, I've class." Just as suddenly as her shadow appeared, her shadow went.

______

The day goes by rather uneventfully, until Zoe finds herself in the school bathroom. She hears a girl crying, but decides to ignore her in the interest of giving her privacy. Hearing the noise of a stranger coming in, Alexandra Beauregard and her friend Alice hastily come out of the stall. They are relieved it's only Zoe. Alice has red eyes and Alexandra looks upset. "Are you guys ok?" Zoe asks, hesitatingly. She does not like to get involved in anyone's business. If she were to go to a bathroom to cry in private, she certainly would not want anyone to ask her questions about it. But on this occasion, the two girls almost look like they want to be inquisited. "Alice is just freaked out," says Alexandra Beauregard. "There's all sorts of rumors going around about this field trip. Just a bunch of girls who are bored probably, spreading useless lies." Alice blows her nose and dries her tears. A tiny little girl, she looks about five years younger than she actually is. Fragile but highly intelligent, Zoe is not surprised by her sensitivity. "To be honest, I am dreading this trip. It's just not really me... to be in nature like that. I wish I could skip it." Alice smiles. "I was really excited about it, actually. I've never been away from home, and I love animals. But the stuff I've been hearing is also making me wish I could skip it." As the two girls exit the bathroom, Zoe is left alone, wondering what nasty rumors they could have heard. A dirty dorm, terrible cafeteria food? A crazy schedule where the students are left with no time to themselves, cleaning an old mansion? Bugs infestations? Zoe looks at herself in the mirror. She desperately needs to rest tonight; the sleepless night is now showing on her face. As she gets home that evening, she sees her mother has bought her a new raincoat, boots "ok for dirt", and a new pair of pajamas: "They are fleece pajamas, Zoe! Feel them! You'll be so warm in them. I hear the nights can get quite cold in Normandy."