The Real Me:The Side Nobody Sees

Lost & Scared

~My friends, I'm sorry if I disappoint you with yet another update you may not like.~

     Well, freshman year is almost over with, and life keeps getting harder and harder to battle. My ex plays mind games with me, telling me "I really do appreciate you, we can still talk," then refuses to answer my messages. Maybe it's just that he knows how to piss me off? I don't know but it's getting to the point to where it's actually starting to hurt. If you actually appreciate me, you wouldn't ignore me.
    The thing that hurts me the most is my friends that continue to stab me in the back. I miss 8th grade year, mostly because I didn't have so much backstabbing issues, I was just a happier person. I feel like a disappointment to everyone who still lingers around me, why do you still bother with me? Can't you see that I will hurt you, and I don't want to hurt anyone else? I love my friends, I really do, but sometimes I wish they'd just leave me before they get hurt.
    I'm lost in my overthinking and scared of the future. What will happen ten years from now? Will I even graduate high school? Who is the person I will become? I'm determined to face my fears, only because I'm tired of becoming the old me that cut herself every single time I screwed something up. My scars are faded, and I want them to stay that way.