Insane-ly Loving You (Kohnnie)

Slowly dying on the inside because I should...

I have nothing to say right now.

Shocker, right?
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Kyle's pov-

It's been a hour and it's still raining like we're in the tropics. Don't get me wrong I love the rain and I don't mind warm weather while it rains, but it's like we're in a rain forest. I mean we're in California, there's barely suppose to be rain.

I'm still sitting by myself on a table and I'm getting deep in my thoughts. They're not running in throughly my mind like crazy, but they for sure don't wait their turn in line.

I feel so incapable of doing things. I don't even think I can talk now. I just know that I'm not going to get any sleep and that I'm not gonna to want to eat. I know these things because this feeling has come a lot of times before. I'm just going to be silently going crazy.

"Kyle?" I heard somebody say.

I looked up and it was Damon.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

I touched my face and yep there were tears streaming down. I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat to try to speak.

"I don't know." I said in sort of a whisper.

"So you have a crazy girlfriend and somethings keeping you from loving her the way you did before, am I right?" Damon asked.

I humped my shoulders then said, "I guess you could say that."

"I'm not gonna go as far as asking you what's keeping you from her, but I am gonna ask you this." He paused and looked out friends for a second. "What are you gonna do about in order for you to keep the sanity that you have left? You look at her with fear and your eyes dart to something then back to her. She is going to the absolute death of you."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do and she isn't going to be the death of me because apparently I can't fucking die." I told him with a bitter ending as I said my last four words.

"Alright, I wish you nothing, but the best and I hope she doesn't kill you in your sleep." Damon said then walked away.

I sighed then dove back into my thoughts.

Let's go over my life again, but make it a little shorter and more understandable.

I was five, she was five. We were the best of friends. I was six, she was six. Her mom and dad were constantly fighting and she cried to me. I was six, she was six. Her sister Alex was born, it wasn't her dads child. I was seven, she was seven. She started getting beatings everyday, I started getting hurt by a family friend.  I was eight and she was eight we started getting hurt together . Her dad burned her, slapped her, punched her, kicked her, and I think he even molested her. I was nine and she was nine, I didn't know why we were getting hurt so much. I was ten, she was ten. We started not to care anymore and just kept to ourselves in our little group.

Things started from there.

I'm crying again. At least I know.

I wish I could forget everything. When I say everything I mean every-fucking-thing.

I need music. Music helps me. I soothes me. It calms me down. It helps me get lost. It helps me remember good things. Bottom line, it helps.

I wiped my tears away them made my way for to the door.

"Kyle, what the fuck are you doing?" Shannon whisper shouted at me.

I looked at her before walking in the building.

Once I got on the building I went to Nurse Kara.

"Hi, Kyle! Why are you all wet and everything?" She asked, turning her attention from her computer.