WISHING

CHAPTER FIVE

I'm sorry, she's gone.

She's gone.

Gone. 

I couldn't wrap my head around the news. It seems surreal. Forever. This is just impossible. What am I to do with my life? Without her, my life is just like an empty box. Nothing. Nothing seems to be worth fighting for.

The moment the doctor said she can't be saved, I just dropped on my knees holding my chest. Feeling the pain I've never felt before. It was surreal. I can't stand the pain. I can't let myself breathe. I have no one. Literally no one. No one that I could say I Love You anymore and actually meant them. It just hurt so bad. I don't want to feel this pain.

I wished this was a dream. But the pain in my chest made it real. I can't accept it. I want my mother back. I want her back.

I got only myself to blame. I didn't work hard enough. I could've worked harder for the money so that we could pay for the surgery. Or even reapplied the health insurance. I should have just do it the moment it expired. I shouldn't have listened to her. On her demand to use the money for school. I could've waited. Now she's gone and it's all my fault. Education could have waited for a couple more years. Putting my interest before hers! What was I thinking?!

Oh god. I miss her so much it hurts. I never understood the phrase. How do you miss someone so much it hurts? Why do you even feel the pain at the first place? 

"Miss Jaunt, it seems to me that you're going to need some help with the hospital bills and the funeral. Here's my card and give me a call to set up an appointment to discuss about the payment plan or if you need someone to talk to. I'm also a psychiatrist here. I hope you'll feel better soon." That random doctor walked away and I looked at his card. 

E. Scott M.D.

'That's it?! Only his name?' Groaning, I stood up and walked out of the hospital. At the exit of the hospital, I felt this warm breeze and for some reason, I feel like everything will be okay. It will be. It has to be. 

Just as I stepped out of the bathroom, the doorbell rang. Well, now that I'm all alone, without any single friend, like literally no friends at all, who else could it be? I decided to ignore the door bell and prepared myself to sleep. Besides, you're not supposed to open the door to strangers. 

I was about to dozed off when the doorbell started to rang continuously. 

"In a minute!" I snapped. I ran to the door and stumbled here and there. As soon as I opened the door, I saw Blade. Standing there with a smugy look on his face.