Suicide Letters

Letter to my parents

"When I grow up I want to be like the girls in the books...beautiful"

Dear Parents,

I'm sorry that I was such a failure. I tried to be pretty and perfect just like you wanted me to be.

I'm so sorry I wasn't pretty and thin like everyone else. I'm sorry I wasn't perfect at every thing like you wanted me to.

Every time you raised your hand to my face and it stung my cheek I knew I failed. I knew you were disappointed in me and I'm sorry.

Maybe when I'm gone you'll get a second chance at a perfect son or daughter. Maybe she or he will be beautiful. I was your sad ugly daughter and I'm sorry.

If your the ones that find me lying lifeless in the pale floor promise me you won't get mad because I failed again. Promise me you'll send all these letters. Please just do one thing for me.

I hope you have a happy life without me. Go out and drink until your drunk like you did when I was away.

Even though this word gets over used I love you. Even though you came home drunk and did unspeakable things, I still love you. I don't know why I do. Maybe because you made me stronger. But not strong enough.

I just wanted to live my life happily. Like any normal person would. Do you know how hard that is why. Everyday when I come home you scream insults at me. It's hard to be happy when your judged all the time.

I tried so hard to get good grades. I studied hard and did all my homework. But I still failed. I failed at my miserable life. I failed you.

You guys don't know what I do to myself behind closed doors. And it kills me that I'm not what you think I am.

I could go on and on saying sorry about who I am. But it's easier if I'm gone because then I won't have that nagging feeling that I failed.

I hope you never forget about me. Even though you hated me all I'm asking is to feel loved when I'm gone.

Enjoy your failure free life.

                        -Sincerely a sad excuse of a daughter

Sorry for this short update next one will be longer.