Guns Of Eternity.

Affection.

This morning began calmly, with the sky as blue as Paul's eyes and a pretty summer like weather.
" Swan, do you want to come in my room?"
" Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd was almost ironically playing in my record player.
Paul was laying on his bed. He was now very fragile.
" For what?" I asked
" Doing things?" He said with a malicious smile
I glanced at him for a moment, without saying anything.
" I'm tired and dying, don't you want to spend some times with the love of your life?" He smiled.
" Shut up, don't say that again...of course I'm coming." I said as fast as i could so that he wouldn't notice my trembling voice.
" You're the love of my life after all." I said again to myself.

I went to buy some sweets and coffee and rang in his house.

The air was filled with his perfume, medicaments and cigarette smell.
He tried to stand up when he saw me but immediately gave up because of the pain.He looked pissed off.
I kissed him and sat in a chair at his side.
I was looking at his room. Boyish and casual; and then noticed his vinyls collection in a corner.
" you have a crazy amount of them!"
"Pick one and play it." He said with a smile.
The quantity was equal to the variety.
I choose one and went back at his side.
I was drinking my coffee calmly when he put his hand on my thigh.
" what are you thinking about? "
" The future.."
" I don't have one."
He said that with a neutral expression in his eyes wich made me endlessly sad.
" Without you, it will be chaotic.. I don't want it."
" You will survive."
" No."
" You will. You have to. For me.."
I stayed silent.
" And don't think About the future now. Enjoy the present little girl." He added with a smile
My dress was wet from tears again.
" I almost forgot how your smile looks like. "
I almost forgot it too. Those days when I was laughing at every stupid joke he would make were far away now.
I glanced at him and smiled, a smile wich would transform into a uncontrollable laughter.
He must have though I was going mad.
" What's so funny?" He asked with a smile.
" you're so cute with messy hair."

While I was rearranging it for him, he took my arm and pulled me.
All what I remember was his smile and falling in his bed.
" ♪ There is a light and it never goes out.. ♪ "
He was hugging me so tightly I could barely breathe.
I could hear his heart beating and it made my soul so calm, all the worries and the sadness I felt those last days flew away.
I moved my arm toward his back and hugged him too.
We looked at each others for a moment, and once again he locked his lips to mine.

That night when I went back to my room, we kept talking, and I then watched him sleep until I did the same near my window.