Guns Of Eternity.

End of a dream.

I was at the bookstore, walking through the shelves.
Half of my conscience was trying to choose some good books for Paul, Joe and myself. The other half was weirdly worried at something.
My days were now resumed on going to study and then spending all my free time with Paul.
It was heaven for me, and I knew that one day all this would stop, but for now I was enjoying it with all my will.

I rang and surprisingly, it was Joe who came to open to me.
" Hey Joe! " I laughed happily while hugging him.
He didn't say anything.. I slowly separated myself from him.
My eyes widened, as my heart was beginning to slowly fall apart.
I looked a moment to him without a word, and then tried to run into Paul's room but he stopped me by grabbing my arm.
" Let me go." I said
" Swan you don't want to. We need to talk first."
" Fuckin' let me go, which word from my sentence you don't understand? Let me fuckin' go Joe!" I desperately screamed, trying to set myself free from him, but he was still grabbing it firmly.

I finally gave up.
" Please let me see him" I said with a little voice, while my sentence continued to echo in the silence.
We were both sitting on the ground, one in the arms of the others, crying. Because it was all what we could do.

Joe stayed at my side all the funeral long.
If it wasn't for Paul and the promise he made me do, and Joe being constantly with me, I would have joined the love of my life a long time ago.
For a better world or not..heaven or hell? Real hell was the present I was living in without him.

" I'm more scared to leave you alone than from death itself ."

We were standing there in the highest floor of an abandoned block.
Joe was smoking, Kosmo was looking at the stars while Vyv stayed quite and silent all day long.
it's night now. After some brief salutations, I took my way back to home with Joe.
We were both silents , because we were tired, but also because there was nothing to say.
We were walking and I just remembered this random summer day with Paul, at this same place..
~ It was summer, 2am, and I was really bored. I was laying on the floor of my room like an idiot with " Yesterday" from the Beatles playing.
" Hey , let's go on an adventure."
It was Paul, standing next to his window.
" What are you talking about?"
" I don't know, let's try some exotic food, run through all the city or something." He said with excitement.
" Paul, you're crazy.. " I said with a smile.
" I'm not. Or maybe I am? You don't want to join the wild side anymore?" He said with an evil smile.
I hate this bloke.
" OK, wait a second."
I quickly wore a dress, a leather jacket and boots and got out from my window again and joined him.
" So here I am Mister, take me to the wild side."
He grabbed my hand and we began to run.
It might be not the most romantic thing but it was wonderful.
Forgetting everything, just running with him, my hand in his, only hearing our footsteps, feeling our heart beating hard and the fresh air in our face.
I didn't even know where we were going, I was just following him and it was enough for me.
After a time we stopped, totally out of breath and not being able to stand on our legs.
" I'm going to die. I'm seriously going to die."
" you're not. You.."
He couldn't finish his sentence, choking because of lack of air, he began coughing violently.
" alright?" I asked
"..Karma."
I looked at him, and my emotions went from worry to laughing my heart out.
He grinned and started to laugh too.
The situation was us on the street, sitting on the pavement, and laughing like the idiots that we are.
We bought something to drink and continued to walk.
" Let's go back? I'm cold." I said
We walked back calmly to our blocks.
The dark sky was starry and the street totally silents.
" next time we will try the exotic food."
He said after a moment.
I smiled to him and it seemed like all the sky's stars felt into his eyes.~

My eyes watered and I had to support myself on Joe's shoulder.
He noticed and sat down directly on the pavement.
" Come there." He said to me.
I came at his side and cried my heart and guts out.
He was grabbing my hand all the time long and waited until I would calm down to whip my tears.
" Take this."
He was landing to me a paper.
" I didn't know when to give it to you."
I came back to my house, took a hot shower and went back to my room, trying to avoid from looking into my window, and sat on my bed for reading what was wrote on the paper.